'If we'd grown up in Australia, BMX Bandits would have been our version of The Goonies' quote, fame director Quentin Tarantino. While, I don't agree with that statement by Tarantino. I have to somewhat agree with him in one thing. It was indeed, a fun nostalgia trip! Made before the X-Games was a thing and way after 1972's motorcycle documentary, "On Any Sunday'. "BMX Bandit' was a movie that really try to capitalize on the Australians' BMX craze which took off in the early 1980s. Made in the middle of the whole Ozploitation New Wave movement (late 1970s to late 1980s). 'BMX Bandits' is a 1983 kid film that, probably most famous now, as one of the films that a young Nicole Kidman, starred in, before her big breakthrough role, in 1989's 'Dead Calm'. Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith, the film tells the story of three young BMX riders, P.J. (Angelo D'Angelo), Goose (James Lugton), and Judy (Nicole Kidman), being entangled with a group of bank robbers, when they stole a carton of stolen police walkie-talkies, the gangsters were using to loot. Without spoiling the movie, too much, the first thing, I notice about this film is the really bad pacing issues. For a film about BMX bikes, you really don't see much of it, until the climax of the film. Most of the other parts of the film, has the teens doing a lot of illegal acts like stealing fish traps, vandalism, and other crimes to try to get money to get their bikes, fix, after a clichés obligatory nasty, nameless fat bully (Brian Sloman), cause them to wreck, their bikes with shopping carts, yet not their bodies. Second off, the movie has, this, long pointless really, out of place, horror scene, where the bad guys are chasing the teenagers, through a dark cemetery with scary looking masks. Was this movie, originally supposed to be a horror movie? It really seem, so! The character talk about scary films, way too much. It's like this movie didn't really had some sort of a identify, during the writing period, until they decided to go with the BMX theme, late in production. It's no wonder, why this movie was retitled, 'Short Wave' in America. After all, most of the film, has them, playing with the walkie talkies than riding their bikes. The movie is also, often criticized for having an odd unbalance mixer of Aussie slapstick style comedy and adult-driven action. The police in this film, are absolutely useless, and really doesn't do much, besides, play background chitchat and the rolling shenanigans of the Freddy Mercury and Billy Idol, knock offs, bad guys, Whitey (David Argue) and Moustache (John Ley), during the second and third parts of the film, really doesn't match up with the intense opening part of the film, which makes them, looking like a seriously threat. It's really hard to believe, these were the same guys that were in an intense gun-fight with police, a few minutes ago, during a bank heist, and now, they are, now getting pounded by bunch of preteen kids with bags of flour and soap bubbles. It get weirder for them, as the film had a memorable moment, where the BMX bikers, escape down the Manly Waterworks water slides, complete with BMX bikes, with the villains, coming after them. It's really, jarring, when you think, about it, because you would, think the bank robbers would be smarter than this. Anyways, that climatic silly chase through all of Sydney's stunning location really does go on forever. It got really tiresome, after a while. While the slapstick humor, didn't live up to my standards, at least, the weird dialogue jokes, did. The film had a lot of great one-liners from the three appealing young leads, even if their thick Australian accent, was hard to hear, at times. Their delivery can be a bit bizarre, because, the fact, that I'm American, born in the 1980s. I just wish, I knew, some of the often dated words or foreign slangs they were, often bantering. Who knew, that a trolley mean shopping cart in Australian English? I didn't! Anyways, most of the jokes were harmless and goofy in a fun kind of a way. Decked out in their bright color-coded flashy neon outfits, you really can tell, this was a 1980s film. After all, Nicole Kidman had big ratty red hair perm, seem to want to eat up, the scenery and the boys are often seem, wearing really short shorts. While, their acting was somewhat alright; I have to say, their bikes skills is a bit questionable, as three top BMX bike experts had to be, brought in, to replace the actors, during action scenes. It's sad, that the stunts are all performed with over-dramatized slow motion camera movement and bad sound effects. It really took me, out of the movie. Moreover, Nicole Kidman was doubled by an 18-year-old boy who wore a wig. It was really odd to watch, to watch her character played by a stunt man, do halfpipes ramp with the song, 'I see Boys' by Petra Gaffney playing in the background. Indeed, most the movie's music choices, don't really match, the tone of the film, at all. 'I'm Ready to Fly' (Kangaroo Hop) by the band, 'The Papers', is probably the worst. I had no clue, how the lyrics of the song, relate to what happening on film. That song is torturous. Overall: While, BMX Bandits offers an amusing good times to '80s freestyle bike culture with some bawdy humor and adventure. This movie is incredibly inferior to the 1986's film, 'Rad' in every way. It's good for a one time watch.

Goose (James Lugton) and P.J. (Angelo D'Angelo) are two bike riding buddies who wreck their prized vehicles, after which they encounter young supermarket employee Judy (Nicole Kidman). To repair the bikes, they need quick money, so they go on a fishing expedition. They find a cache of walkie talkies anchored underwater & tied to a boat that they think is abandoned. But these communication devices are actually critical to a gang planning a major robbery and were merely kept there for safekeeping. Soon two of the baddies, a bumbling duo named Whitey (David Argue) and Moustache (John Ley) are hot on the kids' trail."BMX Bandits", as directed by the ever reliable Brian Trenchard-Smith, never pretends to be anything other than what it is: carefree escapism for the younger crowd. As such, it's completely engaging. One can just turn off their brains and enjoy it. The bicycle stunts and camera-work are absolutely first rate and there's a non-stop amount of action. Much of the running time is devoted to chases, and as these chases play out there's a fair bit of destruction that goes on. Argue ("Razorback") and Ley ("Turkey Shoot") are as good a dim bulb comedy duo as you'll ever see and suffer their fair share of indignities. The kids are extremely likable. Kidman, in what was only her second feature film appearance, is cute, spunky, and adorable; she does nothing to be ashamed of here. The movie may not be anything of substance, but that's the whole point. It's lively, harmless stuff that kills an hour and a half quite amiably. The reasonably funny script by Patrick Edgeworth (based on a screenplay by Russell Hagg) has a decent payoff when the kids go on about horror films they've seen and the head villain (Bryan Marshall) expresses disdain for the kind of thing that youngsters watch for entertainment!The pop score is irresistible, and Trenchard-Smith did a fine job of putting a smile on this viewers' face and keeping it there, right through the end credits.Eight out of 10.

Our Squadron has embarked on a most triumphant adventure, to ascertain the best-worst film of the 1980s. After a vast amount of study, and many efficacious screenings, we fell upon an IMDb endorsement…BMX Bandits. While none of us have ever seen this film, and judging solely on user reviews, the movie cover, and pictures from various scenes, we resolved to give it a viewing.The opening scene produced smiles to everyone's faces with anticipation of the potential astounding phenomenon that was to come. Those same smiles metamorphosed to looks of bewilderment as this same opening scene dragged on for five, nay ten minutes. Not long after, the initial chase scene began…and never ended.Aside from the unquestionably awful acting, the requisite for a translator to decipher the dialogue, mediocre bike stunts, unequivocally incompetent bad guys, and absolutely no plot whatsoever…never mind, it was just horrifying anyway you look at it. The only redeeming…sorry, I did it again, there was no redeeming quality. It was just that vile.Not many weeks before, we screened the film "Rad" and were mystified by its pure, unalloyed cinematography and tremendous BMX stunts. I deem it was a mistake, a most heinous mistake, to think that this movie could even come close to paralleling it. Some users compared "BMX Bandits" to the "Goonies." We all laughed and celebrated the scenes of our young heroes braving the copious traps set forth before them and relished in the memorable characters and musical compositions that would leave us singing these songs for days…wait, sorry, it didn't have any of that.When the credits finally completed rolling across the screen, I rose from my chair and gently flicked the switch to the lights above. The quiet hum they produced broke the silence that seemed to linger. What I saw next will forever be seared into my soul. Grown men, warriors who have braved numerous attacks and survived the harshest of environments were broken. Three lay on the floor, crouched in the fetal position, shaking and crying out for their mothers far away. One was bent over the nearby garbage can, emptying the contents of his stomach in an effort to cleanse what he had witnessed. Another simply sat in his chair as his bowels cried "no more" and emptied itself onto the ground. Yet the majority of us simply stared ahead, deep in thought. It wasn't in disbelief of what we had just forced ourselves to observe, but rather in self-reflection of how the deepest part of us will all be forever changed.Even though we are fighting in Afghanistan, and any time away from reality is valued more than any wealth, none of us can get those 88 minutes back…none of us. After the film we made a pact, once this review was complete, and submitted to you good people, we would never speak of it again.

I'm sure that there have probably been a lot more adventure films centered around BMXing than just BMX Bandits or Rad, but those are all that I have seen as of this writing. And while I thought 'Rad' was far too embarrassingly cheesy and was initially skeptical when I picked up BMX Bandits, BMX Bandits blew 'Rad' right out the water as far as acting, story, humor, and even action sequences.BMX Bandits is something like an Australian version of the Hardy Boys (plus one girl) mystery on wheels. Three teens desperate for money to not only get new bikes, but also finally fulfill their ambitions for a neighborhood dirt course decide to try and make the cash on their own. Only, their brief, unsuccessful time as fishing entrepreneurs leads them instead to a boat with a mysterious box tied to it. So, they did what any honest citizen would: they cut the rope and claimed the abandoned treasure for themselves. A case full of sophisticated walkie talkies which yield not only a pretty penny as they sell them to the neighborhood kids, but also a lot of trouble as they are chased by their skilled, gangster owners who wish to retrieve their finds and punish the kids for taking them, as well as the cops who think something much more is going on when their radio frequencies are interrupted with the conversations of the three teens on their walkie talkies.Despite the family film theme, the movie lacks much of the corniness common to the genre, the decade, or the BMX theme. The filmmakers were willing to be a little more daring with the dialog and the story, probably trying to appeal to audiences older than just the pre-teen market and do so in an often humorous manner, thanks mostly to the witty retort of Goose (James Lugton), one of the three main teens. Although, at least for me, one of the drawbacks was a longer-than-necessary conclusion in which the teens and the gangsters duke it out more or less.Nonetheless, it is an old adventurous cult classic that is well worth checking out.