The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996): Dir: Steve Barron / Cast: Martin Landau, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Rob Schneider, Bebe Neuwirth, Udo Kier: A bad film with great production values where filmmakers went on an adventure and created a film unfit for children. Lackluster live version of Disney classic with Martin Landau as Gepetto who carves a wooden puppet out of a tree. He is surprised when his wooden puppet comes to life but perhaps he should check his alcohol level. Pinocchio's nose grows when he tells a lie and he gets schemed into a circus where all of the boys are turned into donkeys. One wonders if Steve Barron's nose grew when he directed the film. He certainly didn't follow the classic tale to total degree. Jiminy Cricket is replaced by some other insect, which is not explained and certainly not accepted. Landau makes for a fine Gepetto whose dream of fatherhood becomes a reality. Jonathan Taylor Thomas voices the wooden puppet with appeal and appears briefly as the real Pinocchio. Rob Schneider and Bebe Neuwirth play two pathetic villains in what can only be described as a bad joke on them. Udo Kier plays a character named Lorenzini who is apparently a new character, as if this version wasn't screwed up enough as it is. Pointless live version isn't totally faithful to the classic but the visual attempt is there. Perhaps the script should substitute as fire wood. Score: 2 / 10

I bought the DVD at Walmart because it looked okay, and was less than 6 bucks. Somehow the movie lost me when the cricket said they should bottle the pine scent. At that point it seemed to have a different writer. But the worst of all is the out of place Stevie Wonder songs. When I heard him sing I thought, "What is THAT noise? Who screwed up the sound track?"Nonetheless, the wooden puppet is great and I particularly like the way they handled Pinocchio's origin (the tree carving) and the water transforming device. They were welcomed twists that gave the classic story some freshness.

I saw this movie with my kids, and frankly, they could not stay focused on it. The movie jumped around a lot. I tended to get lost. I did however, like Rob Schneider, I felt he did a pretty good job. All in all my summary is if you have seen the Walt Disney version, DON'T see this one! The animated version is much more better. Although they did it 90's style, for instance in the Disney version the boys going to the island smoked cigars; this version, they drank the water and you know the rest.

It's hard for me to believe this movie had received such a low rating when it deserves wonderful reviews. Adventures of Pinocchio is a true gem, so perfect, so unique, that it can only be defined as a work of art. You don't have to believe me, just rent it today. I have watched this movie several times and is one of my favorite movies of all times.