Loud? check Flashy? check Long? check Too cute? check All sound and fury signifying nothing? checkThere was a lot going on, a lot happening, a lot of money thrown at the screen and I was bored to tears. Even the score seemed to be in the same key for the whole 14 hour movie.

Star Trek Beyond is the worst Star Trek movie I've seen and one of the worst movies ever made. Beyond has no point to raise or moral question to ask, but that is an extremely high bar for a Hollywood Blockbuster, so we'll forgive it for that. The problem is, it's so stupid and poorly constructed that it can't even manage to entertain.James T Kirk is thinking of giving it all up for an admiral position on a CGI space station, but a dramatic situation calls for the Enterprise to sail through a rock-nebula-shock thingy to rescue some aliens. Trouble is, they get attacked by a huge swarm of ships that blows the CGI budget out of the water and there is sadly no money left for a script.Krall, the main baddie, wants a special "weapon" that is on the Enterprise and he almost finds it, but Kirk is a sneaky mother******. The Enterprise is destroyed in the scuffle and all the main characters survive unlikely situations because nobody important will die. This first third of the movie is a bad excuse to show actors climbing and sliding through expensive sets because those damn ship stabilizers are playing up again! Once on the planet, people are separated and Kirk can locate them because of a special necklace Spock gave to Lieutenant Uhura-damsel-in-distress, but we can't transport them because there interference from the nearby rocks. Uhura and Sulu escape their cells, with the aid of projectile vomit (that's not even a joke), and find out what the enemies are doing before getting caught again. Krall spends the rest of the movie telling Uhura about his grand plans while she acts like she forgot to wash her hair. Meanwhile, Spock and Bones vie for the worst dialogue in the history of cinema until they get transported to safety in another plot convenience in an ocean of plot conveniences.The main crew chill on an old federation ship that uses monochrome screens so the audience knows that it's old, really really old. And Kirk finds a motorcycle on board, because Pine must have a two-wheeled scene in his contract, and he uses it to holographically mind-**** a bunch of incompetent aliens, despite the fact that they have millions of ships.But we're not done. With the superweapon finally in hand, Krall takes his endless swarm of ships back to the CGI space station and wins easily (without the superweapon). But Kirk flies in to save the day and uses the super old ship, with Beastie Boys music magic, to surf a "wave" of ships in the a scene that will make you want to Hang Ten-hang yourself ten times. At this point, talking about the absurd final battle is just going to raise my blood pressure Beyond tolerable limits. Anybody with a brain will be dumber for having seen this movie. Anybody who loves Star Trek deserves a heartfelt apology from the cast and crew. Anybody that doesn't want to stab themselves in the eye after watching this is abomination has a tolerance Beyond any mere mortal.

Plain and simple...... This is I great combination of what people want today but still being Trek and I mean Trek from the original series.Abrams messed it up over the last two movies, so there are still a couple issues that they didn't think through to keep their, "science" more accurate but it isn't nearly as bad as Into Darkness.The bad guy should've been developed more but here it is...... Like in TOS it has a crazed Captain against Kirk who finally gets to be the hero and.... AND... The others get their time too.I look back at the original Trek movies and they may not be the best but I can watch most all of them over and over again. I can't with the last two but this one I have watched, maybe 10 times. I can't explain it, except that it's the Trek-like story.Not much information in this but that's all I'm saying for now.It gets an 8 because The Undiscovered Country is the best, then Wrath of Kahn, then this.

In general, it is a good action movie with really awesome animations. So far so good. So if you search for a pointless action movie without the need to activate your brain(at all) the movie is ok. The moment you start thinking about any logic or story that makes sense, you will fall into despair....