1. Tarzan's 'brother' repeatedly punched him with full force as he was protecting Jane. It should have broken his spine. 2. Samuel L. Jackson jumping off the hill into the jungle and somehow surviving it. 3. Vines that go on forever. The trees must be extremely high. 4. Djimon Hounsou and his tribe took out everyone within seconds, but for unknown reasons chose Christoph Waltz to be the only survivor so they could make a deal. It's the white suit that sparked their curiosity, isn't it? 5. The most annoying of those nonsensical scenes: As Tarzan and Jackson saw those gorillas, he told Jackson he had to fight one, his bro, as if there was no other way but to fight. But after he lost the fight (to really no one's surprise), he told Jackson to bow down deeply so the gorilla would leave him alone. Jane did the same thing minutes later. Tarzan's an idiot to insist on fighting!

Tarzan has always been a LEGEND!!!!! And he will continue to be a legend. Following on the heels of the Jungle Book remake and throwing its release-date lot in with Spielberg's BFG, this revisit to an equally beloved childhood character is in good company when it comes to the more serious end of the family movie genre. While animated flicks and new creations can rely on slapstick setups, 'hilarious' side-kick characters, modern-song medleys and loud, loud, loud colours, movies like these tend to carefully present old favourites in a more subtle package. The Legend of Tarzan, at its best, does exactly this – presenting a Sunday matinée movie full of good acting, a simple story, and blended CGI…with a calmness that comes with not having your senses assaulted by lurid colour and noise. The Legend of Tarzan is a solid ode to a character that continues to draw the imagination of children and filmmakers alike. Overall a perfectly fine family movie that trundles along at an even pace, and offers an oasis of calm in the barrage of over-hyped kids' movies making the summer circuit. The CGI used in the film is unbelievable I mean at times I totally forgot that it was CGI (Computer Generated Imagery)it was well and truly used to its full potential in this film. Furthermore, the aesthetics of it were amazing, there were not any blinding scenes or dull scenes that made it difficult for the audience to watch. In addition, they really stepped up their game with this as it was a valiant film through and through. I have already seen the film three times and I would confidently recommend this to anyone. Follow me on Instagram: @gabewatling and Twitter: @gmwatling

Disappointed. The story was random, scattered. I waited, glassy-eyed, for something to develop in the plot to catch my interest, but instead, it moves on to another scene that goes nowhere. It's a shame really. I can tell that Skarsgaard and Waltz are excellent actors who could have showcased their talents with better material. I tried not to be bored, but failed at every attempt. It wasn't for lack of trying. I tried to enjoy the film, but the totality of the story was flat - no peaks, no valleys - a flat-line, though Skarsgaard and Waltz were excellent cast- mates. I can't fault them; however, Margot Robbie did not fit. First of all, she needs elocution lessons. I couldn't understand a word she said, though I could understand the ESL Swedish and German actors quite well. She must be an exponent of the Brando school. There was plenty of overt social justice politics in it to destroy the movie as well. I give it a four because it's hard for me to give a movie less than that and seem fair. If sleeping pills don't work for you, try this.

Okay, honest review. Not a bad Sunday afternoon popcorn flick to watch with the wife and kids. The story is a bit all over the place and the comic relief is a bit too common, but not a bad movie all in all. Don't expect the epic long awaited Tarzan movie. Waltz, the best bad guy since Oldman, is once again massively restrained (Spectre) but, delivers a decent performance. To be honest my biggest issue was with the mid action editing, one minute the boats afloat, the next its half sunk, etc etc. Jackson is quality as we've come to expect, with Skarsgard and Robbie looking and sounding the part. It's hard to put your finger on it be honest. You won't feel bad for watching, just don't make it your big Friday/Saturday night movie and you'll be just fine.