0.5/10Back in the early 2000s I had saved my paper round money to purchase a DVD player with a surround sound system. When I opened the box I saw it came with a few free DVDs which certainly wasn't the norm. One of these films was Train to Hell (1996). From the title of the film and the picture of a big star actor (Grant) on the front I foolishly decided this was worth a watch.Terrible. Just absolutely awful. Words cannot describe how disappointing this film is. I sat through the entire film, start to finish!Even now, nearly 15 years later it still stands out vividly in my memory as the single worst film I've ever seen. The script was bizarre, the dialogue was all over the place, the camera work was often shaky and scenes with mistakes in the delivery and points where Grant mistakenly and nervously peeks into the camera lens were left in the final edit. It was clear from the look in Hugh Grant's eyes that he was uncomfortable with the direction during filming, at certain points he genuinely looks like he is going to be sick with anxiety.I think I burned the DVD after watching it, only to crave it again years later after discussing awful films with friends at uni. I felt I had to watch it again to make sure it wasn't just a dream (nightmare). I never managed to get a hold of another copy.I imagine if I was a lecturer on a cinema course I would make a point of showing all my students this film. It is basically a step by step guide of how to make a genuinely laugh out loud terrible film. I cannot fathom how people were paid to make this. I actually believe I could make a better film myself with a smartphone and a couple of friends; and that is saying something!If you're a film student, this is a must see......

I was very shocked that Hugh Grant would appear in a movie like this. Apart from the fact that this movie was terrible, he was certainly out of his depth in this mystery thriller. He has done thrillers before including but not limited to movies such as Extreme Measures (1996) which wasn't a box office success. The Hugh Grant audiences know and love has struck success with movies such as Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994), Nine Months (1995), Bridget Jones's Diary (2001), and About a Boy (2002). Night Train to Venice was certainly a departure for Hugh Grant and this stinker of a movie shows that Hugh Grant should stick with what he does best.Night Train to Venice centres on a young journalist named Martin who is travelling to Venice by train (hence the title) to drop off a copy of his book. Along the way he encounters a variety of people including Vera (Tahnee Welch, Cocoon) an actress who is travelling with her daughter, and a man known as The Stranger (Malcolm McDowell, A Clockwork Orange) who has a mysterious influence over their dreams, and also wipes out Martin's memory. Only Vera and her daughter can help Martin.To describe this movie as a train wreck would be an understatement. It is very boring, lifeless and very uninteresting. I didn't care for how the movie ended as this was amazingly bad. It's no surprise that Hugh Grant stated in a 2002 interview that this is the worst movie he has ever done, and rightfully so.Hugh Grant should stick with romantic comedies as that is definitely what he does best.1/10.

This 'film' gets 1/10 but that is me being generous. I forced myself to continue watching this pile of crap as I have never seen a film this bad in my life. Like witnessing a car crash, you know you should look away but the horror of it keeps you transfixed.If you have not had the misfortune to watch it yet then save yourself 80 minutes and don't bother (80 minutes - I must be getting delirious, no sane person will continue after 20 minutes!). If you have watched it then I suggest a remedy of Shawshank Redemption, Godfather II, Blazing Saddles, Blues Brothers, or whatever your favourites are to remind yourself that there is a lot of talent out there.Finally, anyone involved in this film ought to disavow it and apologise profusely. Also, I applaud those who have contributed positive reviews for having a delightful sense of irony.

Not aware of this movie until I noticed it in my local video rental outlet more than a decade ago. Upon finding it and reading the box, I thought I was about to discover a hidden cult treasure and, in accord with the title and quality cast, that I was going to be treated to a dangerous thrill-ride of adventure across a darkened Europe-scape; fast, edge-of-seat action and suspense. However, 'twas not to be. Waited patiently for some-odd 20 minutes or so for a situation to emerge that could be perceived as literal plot development (a crucial thread for this style of movie) and thus capture and maintain my interest for the duration of the film but alas, all that had come in this time was just a bunch of half-baked, confused, nasty, disjointed drivel. What a disappointment.