I just can't! I just watched Jurassic Shark before this and that WAS a big stinking turd pile. Shark Attack 3, by comparison, is a masterpiece (okay, it isn't, but it sure seems that way!).From start to finish, SA3 is filled with the following: 1. Hammy acting. There is a whole pig farm of ham in this movie! The quality reminded me of those cheesy early 80's VHS movies. Barrowman is by far the best actor in the movie, but even he seems to be finding the whole thing hilarious.2. Stock shark footage. The beast of the movie is entirely stock footage lifted from documentaries. That said, there are some hysterically funny superimposition shots, where the shark is matted in with another scene, usually an "eating" moment. These are priceless! 3. Terrible miniature effects. The helicopter is my favourite, but most vessels end up as poorly filmed models that look very unconvincing.4. The shark has a bad tummy-ache. Yes, in every scene of the shark, it is making a noise like an upset stomach. No wonder considering it eats anything it comes across! Despite all of these things, the movie is so bad that is good! So I can't rate it a 1. Sorry! I'll go as low as a 3, but I really think it's worth a 5, it's that ridiculous and funny.

I usually watch all kinds of movies, even the bad ones. I sat through Shark Attack 1 & 2 already(not great, but slightly passable cheap entertainment movies), so I figured I might as well endure this one to finish it off (though to my best memory, none of the movies are connected).What I found was a movie that I was surprised even made it out of the editing room. The "special effects" were horrid (I could have made a more convincing shark in my bathtub). The acting was as bad as you'd expect. Of course there's that "famous" line in the movie - by that point, I was slightly comatose and this line forced me to rewind twice just to see if I actually heard what I thought I heard. You could easily find the "line" on Youtube just to see it without having to torture yourself watching the rest of this crap.From what I understand, this movie does have some sort of "cult" following, but it's probably not in the best way. It really is probably one of the worst movies ever made - and I write that knowing that covers a lot of ground (and I've seen a LOT of bad movies over the years). I'd rather watch paint dry than to watch this again. Watch at your own risk.

When a Tom Cruise look-a-like coastal patrolman finds a tooth embedded in a submarine electricity cable, a palaeontologist identifies it as a Megalodon tooth, a giant prehistoric shark thought to have been extinct for eons. Of course, the title animal is very much alive, and to make matters worse, it's just a baby! Mother takes some time to surface, but when she eventually does, nothing on the water is safe from her mile-wide gape.If a movie can be remembered by a solitary, improvised line of dialogue, then this film will defy age and ineptitude for centuries to come. Fortunately, there's more to a movie than a one-liner that will have you choking on your marshmallow, and this one doesn't have the substance to rate amongst its peers.The Meg (as it's affectionately known) is a preposterous sized beast, capable of swallowing a powerboat whole, without so much as a gag reflex. Trick photographic effects are clumsy and amateurish looking, with various bystanders falling from a stricken pleasure cruiser into the open jaws of the mammoth, prehistoric specimen. Some stock crowd footage and a scene in which two randy lovers are devoured was lifted (almost unerringly) and used in the contemporary Shark Zone, but to cite that imitation is to ascribe this farce a tribute it neither earns nor deserves.Characterisations are exaggerated in their intensity, and even some of the more capable cast members are laughable caricatures, particularly Ryan Cutrona as the macho ex-navy seal who reveals the sinister cause behind the colossal resurrection. Despite the lack of redeemable qualities, there's still that inimitable one-liner, and a few other memorable quotes at which to laugh. And since it's featured prominently in this review, don't despair about mistaking that line – it's easily identified.

When an unusual Shark tooth is found off the Mexican Coast, 2 researchers band together with a. . . lifeguard?; to rid the world of the gigantic menace it belongs to.This is the kind of B-Grade Horror you have to laugh at. With lines like the one quoted above, and acting that will make you clench your teeth; you just know you're in for a night of hilarious pain. Kind of like when you hit your funny bone.After my wife & I first watched it we turned to each other, at the end of the film, and knew we had to screen it to other people. Thus, 'Megalodon Night' was born. A large group of close friends attended the B-Grade fest and it was one of the funniest experiences I have ever shared with a film.Direction: 2/10 (David Worth...wait, didn't he do 'Kickboxer'? What happened, dude?) Cinematography: 2/10 (David Worth again. Give him a break, he was tired from directi...never mind) Editing: 2/10 (Kristopher Lease seems like he should stick with TV series) Acting: 2/10 (John Barrowman should get an Oscar for keeping a straight face during those lines) Dialogue: 2/10 (Scott Devine & William Hooke basically ripped this off a book called 'MEG') Sound: 1/10 (These guys definitely didn't put in any overtime. Absolutely awful mix-down) Effects: 3/10 (I'll give the Special Effects team something for effort) Art Direction: 3/10 (At least the rich snobs looked like proper tools. Great job!) Costumes: 4/10 (The tuxedos on those snobs was the icing) Music and/or Score: 3/10 (Ashley Miller's sound couldn't even be heard due to poor effort from the sound department)Total Score: 24/100I don't want to spoil what could potentially make you choke as you laugh so I'm not going to mention the Shark looks like they had a budget of $5 for CG. Anyway, if you can bare it, it's a great piece of awfulness. All I can suggest is to do what I did. Make a night of it and just enjoy it for what it is . . . or what it isn't for that matter.