Neil wants to do right by his kids and has the perfect solution -- get them into the same private school Ted's kids attend. But Neil's methods leave something to be desired.

Ted and Neil are furious when Lizzie and Zane get a mediocre grade on a school paper they jointly turned in -- a paper Ted and Neil actually wrote for them. So the guys decide to confront the teacher since the grade was based on the paper being neither funny, clever or well written.

Ted and Jeanne swallow their fears and allow a well-meaning Neil to stay home alone with their kids so they can mark their wedding anniversary at a swank hotel. Their idyllic date ends abruptly, however, when they are summoned home to deal with an emergency -- their house is on fire!

When Neil insults Katie, the star of their show, she fires him, and Ted walks out in sympathy. But he's not sure he made the right decision when the only job they can find is writng for two beat-up professional wrestlers, Enzyme and Python.

When Neil implies that Jeanne isn't funny, Ted bets him that she can make the Hillers' dinner guests laugh out loud---and the loser has to ask Gordon a humiliating question.

Ted tries to make Lizzie's 13th birthday one she'll always remember, but he quickly discovers that when you're the father of a new teenager you can't do anything right.

When a wary Jeanne balks at his suggestion to play matchmaker for the fickle Neil, a miffed Ted decides he'll do it himself, and bets her that he's better at it than she is.

Katie wrangles a dinner invitation from Ted, whose smug boasts that he can cook the holiday meal as well as Jeanne convince his doubtful wife to let him try.

Gordon's plans for a holly, jolly Christmas-Hanukkah party are dashed due to a lack of interest from the office staff.

Ted and Neil feel honored when celebrated comedian Cliffy Dukay agrees to be a guest of their show, but their joy is short-lived when the legendary Cliffy turns out to be a legendary jerk, who manages to insult the entire cast and crew.

Neil and Ted are happy to offer some masculine advice to Zane when he tells them he has a crush on a girl, until they discover who the girl is: Ted's daughter Lizzie.

Neil pushes Zane too hard when the boy is discovered to be a mathematical genius.