Location: The Middle EastTime: 1986Situation: The only son of an important and wealthy diplomat is kidnapped by middle eastern terrorists. The desperate dad is willing to try anything to save his offspring.Solution: Hell Squad, a crack team of curvy female commandos.The distraught diplomat asks his American friend "the government is powerless saheb, where can I turn to for help?", to which his sage sidekick responds "Las Vegas!".Cut to a second rate sin city stage act with a bevy of beauties dancing crudely to champagne music. Later in the dressing room the girls all voice displeasure with the job and it's lack of proper compensation. Cue the diplomat's American friend, as he arrives with a generous but dangerous offer, to select and train several of them for deadly combat so as to rescue the diplomat's son, for which they will be payed handsomely. To the dancers this sounds like such a hair brained scheme that it...just...might...work! The showgirl soldiers are so game for the mission that they compose a poor but spirited excuse for a cadence, chanting the not entirely difficult "Hell Squad, Hell Squad!!". What follows is equally absurd and so poorly executed, it's like watching G.I.Jane directed by Demi Moore's 5 year old. A sampling:-in a combat scene, a girl tosses a knife so limply it arcs towards the ground unable to make it out of frame. The next moment we see the blade rocket into someone's chest 30 feet away.-Hell Squad receives it's marching orders, not by code over a shortwave radio as they camp in desert terrain, but rather on the luxury hotel room phone. The Squad leader is informed where the terrorists are, and when they'll be there. Zero drama is involved as she cheerfully responds "okay, we'll be there, thank you very much" as if confirming a salon appointment.-At daybreak, the Hell Squad leaves to engage in fierce combat. They return exhausted at the end of the day for a glass of champagne and a group soak in an over-sized hot tub. And no, the hot tub is not an excuse for the gratuitous nudity exhibited by the women, the filmmakers don't appear concerned with making an actual motion picture, let alone excuses.If you find yourself tired at how quality ridden some films are, or you need a break from the logic and coherence seen in much of cinema, you could do worse than Hell Squad.

I couldn't believe how bad this was.Still I was entertained.Why? Those ladies, despite their obvious 'talent', (hehheh) were GORGEOUS.This was stock footage surrounded by a two set filming. The lack of real cast was desperately covered up.So many missions that we never saw. Then the ladies come home in their military/fetish unis and lounge in provocative positions.One reason to see this film...you're drunk and love to see ladies in hotpants. (Ok, two reasons.)

From the cheesy dialog to the no-talent 'actresses', there is not one redeeming quality about this 'film'!About the point these commando bikini-models were putting on their flippers and snorkel gear to swim across a lake in a middle of a desert to a stock photograph of a castle in the European mountains I lost my lunch.The biggest laugh of the movie was the reveal of 'Ann' as 'Andy' when a halloween budget mask was pulled off of Ann/Andy. Couldn't help but think of Austin Powers, "That's a MAN, man!"So bad it's laughable! If there was a ZERO STAR rating this movie would have it!

Movies like this give me a headache. Nine bubbly and not-so-bright Vegas show-girls are hired to train for 10 (count em), 10 days to become highly skilled, psuedo-military commandos and execute a top-secret operation in order to rescue an American Ambassador's whiney son. Their training consisted of a four obstacle obstacle course, rifle training with no, repeat, NO instruction on how to use the weapon, and one girl punching a board. Nothing else is even shown to be done, unless you count the "squad" of girls marching around the middle of the desert, chanting their patented cadence, or lounging in the officer's pool as training. Never before has someone's utter lack of desire to make a decent film ever been more showcased than in this movie. It is apparent the thought that T&A would carry this entire film was the motivation behind every scene of this movie. Every scene where the "hell squad" went into action was immediately followed by a scene of all the girls either naked or in their bathing suits. It is this genre of women exploitation which tries to hide behind the mask of "girls kick ass" that makes me shudder at the day they began selling movie cameras to anyone who walked in off the street. The world is in dire need of a written law to prevent any non-film maker from making a film. I swear to you, from the first 20 minutes on to the end of the movie, my jaw hung open in terror as I watched every film making sin take place before my eyes. This movie gave me a headache.I own many original copies of a great number of the movies shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and this movie topples every one of them over. Still, it doesn't make it the worst movie I've ever seen, but it sits in a class of films that are harmful to open skin. Handle movie with care.Scott's judgment: Set your dumbness filter on high while watching this movie