Under a powerful Mayan curse, snakes are hatched inside a young woman, slowly devouring her from within. Her only chance for survival is a powerful shaman who lives across the border. With only hours to live, she jumps on a train headed for Los Angeles.Could this be one of The Asylum's worst films and yet one its biggest money-makers? I think so. While most of their films are bad, this one seems to be among the worst. And yet, it is possibly the most noteworthy ripoff they had. I can see hundreds and thousands of people renting this... (though I am not exactly sure how rental money gets back to creators).Others have complained about dangling subplots, such as the drug smuggling and Middle Eastern man. Really? If anything, give them credit for trying to have more complex characters... even if they failed.

I do have to agree with those who say that the ending's the best part of the movie. Simply because the last 5-10 minutes were the most intense Snakes on a Train got. Shame you can't say the same about the rest of the movie, when the snakes(which look neither cheap or brilliant, just a very marginal okay) themselves actually don't manage to do anything interesting other than blundering, you know there's something wrong. Snakes on a Train even manages to look cheap with all-over-the-place editing and excessive and cheap-looking gore. The story is also a big let down, as well as ripping off Snakes on a Plane(not a "great" movie by all means, but much more watchable) it is derivative and dull with no thrills or suspense whatsoever. The movie is further cheapened by lazy, disjointed scripting, characters that you simply don't engage with, plodding direction and very weak acting from all involved. Overall, an awful movie with the ending solely bringing it up from a 0 to a 1/10 Bethany Cox

First of all, I am an enthusiastic connoisseur of B-movies (as you know if you've read any of my other reviews) and I am a dedicated fan of "Snakes on a Plane" even after all the hype has passed. I even have a Snakes on a Plane movie poster in my room. Let me be absolutely clear, "Snakes on a Train" is NOT AT ALL similar to Snakes on a Plane. I was thinking and hoping it'd be like a much cheaper version, but the truth is that it's about as similar to Snakes on a Plane as a shark is similar to a soda can.I had to watch "Snakes on a Train" out of curiosity. Fortunately, it was uploaded in segments on YouTube so I didn't have to spend any money on it. I still felt a horrible feeling both during and after I saw it. This is a film that truly got absolutely nothing right.Number one, Asylum Home Entertainment should apologize for false advertising. There are absolutely not "100 Trapped Passengers - 3,000 Venomous Vipers," not even close! There are only about a dozen or so dull uninteresting "passengers" and maybe two dozen snakes (at most) which are garter snakes and ball pythons (so much for the "Venomous Vipers" that the box promises).Then, the next problem is the extremely boring story that is told in the slowest possible way. A woman has a curse on her and so she vomits snakes up her throat. She vomits them while they are traveling on a train. When the snakes bite other people, they start vomiting out snakes too. And mind you, all of this happens more slowly than a snail crosses the road. It drags on and on and on. There are no panic scenes or action scenes at all (until the very end of the movie that is). No trying to escape from the surrounding snakes, just talking and talking (about nothing interesting) while the woman in back is vomiting up more snakes. Oh yeah, and there is dull "subplot" about a girl delivering illegal drugs and a cop catching her, and predictably the cop is corrupt and is a pervert.As I implied above, the characters in this movie are extremely dull. In fact so dull, that you wonder how they got hired for a movie, even a direct to DVD movie from the Asylum! The only tiny redeeming quality this movie might have is that the ending is unintentionally funny (I don't reveal endings, even in reviews that I have marked for containing spoilers. You can look that up if you want to know). The rest of the movie is far too boring to be funny, intentionally or unintentionally. Needless to say the sets are awful too, as it looks like they crammed bunk-beds and seats into a long hall way and called it a train.I feel let down. Couldn't Asylum have at least made a rip off that you could laugh at? I don't know how they thought to make this film. Staring at paint dry for the 91 min. run-time is a better use of your time than watching this garbage.

What the hell was this. If this was made in the seventies it could have been one of those drive-inn classics but nowadays it's just a bad cheesy flick. Well, if you like cheesy flicks then you will love this or if you used to see Mega Piranha and stuff like that than you will love it. If you think you will have a gory flick then forget it. It's all about some chica being cursed by her family because she doesn't want to marry the man she was offered. Running away to get help in Los Angeles they get aboard a train. From there on it's one way track to the cheesy end. Before that you will have some stupid conversations to fill the film. You have some green vomit (no not pea soup) coming out of mouths mixed with snakes. Those are real snakes so up to that part everything is still okay. The go into human flesh which looks nasty. Naturally there is some gratuitous nudity again just to keep you watching but it's the end that makes it look cheesy. The possessed girl somehow put the vomited snakes back in her mouth and becomes a snake. What we have then is so over the top that you must have seen it to believe it. Not for everybody and not for me but men, who invents those kind of stories, please come forward.