I have to say that I did push myself to the bitter end of the film to give it a chance. I appreciate that the budget was small but come on, there were times when I laughed out loud at how bad it was. Wooden acting and a horrifying montage of North South accents. I'd give this film a very wide berth. If it didn't go straight to DVD then I'm surprised. A not so typical south London gangster type film with all the stereotypes that we have come to enjoy or not.There have been a few reviews of this film already and some even praising the film for its attributes and merits. I will save you having to endure the worst 1hr 33mins of my life.

Oh come on, move on from the generic "Essex Gangster" films with to many overdone Essex accents and too many expletives! It's a mish-mash of totally incomprehensible scenes with all the jumping from black and white to colour. Some of the army scenes are done pretty badly (ex army speaking here)and although they got the kit right, it's so clearly filmed in the UK! I lost interest in the film thirty or so minutes in, too many character plots and the film follows the usual rubbish of someone telling us in narration format who the people are as we would never work it out. All these films try and copy Lock, Stock and two Smoking Barrels but it don't work due to the budget problems.It was only £5 from the bargain bin....Now on an auction site for £2.00!

Let me start by saying this is not a great movie, it isn't even a particularly good one, but it is quite entertaining and takes a potentially clichéd premise and adds an interesting new spin on it.The colour grading is appalling, and is most likely the cause of some of the issues with the video quality and the effect doesn't look at all deliberate. I would genuinely preferred that they just left the video in its original colour than bleached it to the point of complete desaturation.One of the problems with the film is that it introduces characters there that do not appear in the modern day scenes creating the feel of two different movies jammed together to make up the run time. Using the Guy Ritchie device of a freeze frame with a voice over introduction, we are introduced to pretty much every major and minor character that appears on screen, whether or not they are integral to the plot. The army scenes contain a pretty much completely different set of characters to the hooligan scenes and no real attempt has been made to shoot scenes that link the two periods together in any real way; Johnny and Chris' time in the army is never referenced in the hooligan scenes and, as mentioned, none of the army characters reappear in the modern day scenes. The simple device of adding a few hooligan scenes referencing Chris and Johnny's army years and maybe a few reappearing characters from that time would have really helped the film gel a lot better.The hooligan part of the film has a coherent and funny story that, while not exactly original, has enough endearing characters and humour that is both self aware and self deprecating enough to show that the filmmakers are aware that they are not breaking new ground, but are having fun retreading the well worn paths of the London gang drama. The army scenes are an interesting addition, although they don't really have a particularly cohesive narrative, for example one scene sees the squaddies storming a barn for no established reason and others see them just wandering around aimlessly not making it clear what is going on. This part of the film could have done with more thought and more scripting (the army scenes feel disjointed and as if the director just threw a load of unrelated ideas at the screen to see what would stick) but still adds an interesting new dimension to the otherwise standard premise. Some of the acting is lamentable (notably Steven Smith, the co-director as Captain Hicks), but Chris Bell and Alan Lund manage to establish a realistic friendship/rivalry throughout the film. Lund is particularly impressive considering, prior to this film, he had not acted on screen before. Their on screen chemistry even salvages the army scenes and makes for entertaining watching, even when the plot seems lacking.As for the directing, while Smith should know better having directed other films previously, this represents Chris Bell's first directorial effort and is a fantastic start. Is it going to win an Oscar? Of course not, but it is an endearing first attempt and the melding of the army worlds and London hooligan worlds is genuinely interesting; most London hooligan films focus on football hooliganism, but this one attempts to draw parallels between the bonds forged in combat and those maintained in the criminal underworld. With a higher budget or a better director, this could have been a modern classic and redefined a genre, but, considering the resources on offer for the film, the production still managed to make something watchable even if it doesn't make the best sellers list.

Sometimes I get the opportunity to watch a newly released film for free . I almost feel guilty about this sometimes . Almost . Honestly I do and when a new British movie comes out like last years heart pounding thriller '71 the least I can do is give it my support and hand over my money at the cinema and feel a burst of jingoistic pride that I've contributed to British film making . If I don't do this once in a while I feel I've committed an act of high treason so just imagine how I felt when I didn't pay to see HOOLIGANS AT WAR . Guilty with a capital G-U-I-L- T and Y . As soon as the opening credits finished I started becoming aware of something - if the makers of this piece of unwatchable compost don't recompense me 40 minutes of my life I wasted watching this they should be hanging their heads in utter shame The film starts with a flashback to a British army camp in Bosnia 5 years ago and involves a battle scene . This will be in 2010 . SFOR had been replaced by EUFOR six years earlier and despite having never set foot in the country I can tell you there was no fighting between local militias and EUFOR soldiers going on in 2010 . I'm pretty sure Bosnia no longer has local ethnic militias that the country was notorious for in the 1990s . I suppose we can overlook this and the totally amateur production values if it sets up the story Hold on there's another flashback after this as the basic training regiment in the mess hall . Mess halls at these locations are normally large halls crowded with young men in their late teens and early twenties with a hairstyle of number two at the sides and back and a number four cut on top . Not here where there's an intake of about a dozen men and they're all aged in their late twenties to mid thirties with various hairstyles and many of them are obvious salad dodgers who'd have trouble walking to the bus stop never minding lumping sixty pounds of equipment on their back up a steep hill . They're so hopeless at trying to convince us they're soldiers they wouldn't even get in to the local airsoft club because even they have standards . In fact the acting is so bad I wondered how any of them managed to get in to the Equity union . I'm not saying the acting is bad what I'm saying is that it's non existent and the casting must be some sort of joke In fact the whole movie must be some sort of joke ! Sorry did I say movie ? I should have said "thing" and just left it at that because I'd be misleading you if I give the impression that this is going to get any distribution deal . HOOLIGANS AT WAR is obviously shot on a camcorder with a non professional cast and feels like it's trying to parody the likes of Guy Ritchie with a freeze frame and a voice over explaining who the character is . That's the only bit that really works but truth to be told it's really stealing someone elses idea . Really I know it's a cliché when people say "worst movie ever" but this is possibly the worst British film I've ever commentated on in all my years on this website . I've always been fair when reviewing a movie but there is not one saving grace about this film which I turned off after 40 minutes . Believe me if I don't watch a film until the end credits comes up that tells you everything. If someone got out an I-pod and filmed their drunken mates ad libbing an unscripted story as it went along then that would be a more satisfying cinematic film than the thing going under the title of HOOLIGANS AT WAR I am now owed 40 minutes of my life back and I know that the makers of this thing have visited the page - they're ones who gave it a rating of more than one out of ten !ETA May 2015 . Thanks for the nice message Chris and better luck next time