Where to begin with this one? Others have already brought up so many points, so I'll stick with the nightmare imagery. For instance, early on we see Santa's observatory, that he uses to watch children while they sleep. This would not be so bad, Santa is noted for watching all the children of the world, if it wasn't for the huge bizarre-looking face sticking out of the wall, or the ear stuck to a colander to listen to people on Earth.Next, there are Santa's reindeer. At first, this looks like it will be a slightly more modern take on the reindeer, especially given the release date of 1959, by having them as mechanical reindeer powering his sleigh. Then he starts them up, and their eyes open and start to move around. I was expecting them to all start screaming, having been awoken once more to the clockwork nightmare of their existence, trapped in nearly immobile metal bodies perpetually bound to a sleigh. Arguably what actually happens is worse, when one of them stares directly into the camera for several seconds emitting a terrifying laughing sound.There are other moments as well, such as Santa using a dangerous weapon he was delivering to a 'good' little boy to fight Pitch, but there isn't sufficient time to go into them all. This film has to be seen to be believed. You may have heard about Santa living with Merlin in outer space, or the racially insensitive multi-cultural slave children Santa has instead of elves, but nothing can quite prepare you for this film.

This film comes to us via Mexico and features a bit of a different take on Santa Claus. I saw this film as an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, as I am sure a good many people did. I do not recall ever seeing this one as a child, and that is probably a good thing as it is bizarre to the max! Santa looks pretty much as one would expect; however, he acts in an almost insane way, his flying fortress that he apparently shares with Merlin the magician has all the most advanced spying technology imaginable and instead of elves this Santa uses children to work in his toy making factory! His reindeer are strange maniacally laughing automatons that will turn to dust if exposed to the sun! That does not even make sense! Santa's biggest nemesis is Pitch, a demon who resides in hell! So, yes, this is quite the different take on Santa with only Santa's look being what one would expect. The movie does look good as the quality and the effects are pretty good especially considering it came out in 1959, but it is just so off the wall and some of the things it depicts will make you wonder how did Santa deliver presents to all the good children in the world as apparently there were only three bad ones.The story starts us off by showing Santa's fortress in the sky as kids from all over the world must make toys for the rest of the world. Not sure how these children became slave labor and it seems an odd choice that they are kids and not elves. They could have given them pointy ears and passed them off as elves, but no, they are children from around the world. Then we meet a girl who wishes to have a doll, a boy who just wants his parents by his side and three bad children that want nothing more than to serve Satan and bring Santa Claus down! We also meet Pitch who does a rather good job in stopping Santa in certain areas, the four houses we see Santa deliver presents to, takes forever! It takes him so long that you wonder how he did get through the entire world! This made for a rather good episode of MST3K because of the sheer weirdness of the whole film! The strange lipped machine that talked, the crazy looking reindeer and the fact Santa was battling the devil left the gang on the satellite of love with plenty of things to riff! I believe this one was even more bizarre than a previous Christmas film that was riffed on the show, "Santa Conquers the Martians" and that is quite a feat because that one was rather bizarre too.So, the film looks good for the time it was made and there are a couple of good scenes within as the scene with Santa making the parents remember their son is somewhat touching. However, the sheer oddness and the lame humor take this film down a few pegs. If I were a child watching this I would literally be worried every Christmas because Santa does make such slow progress in the homes that are shown.

No, this is not Tim Allen's The Santa Claus, but rather a Mexican film that tells the timeless tale of the battle between Santa and Satan. Yes, Santa must contend with the Devil, or rather his not so sinister minion Pitch, who plans to corrupt the world's children into being naughty. Did I say the world's children? Well actually he focuses his efforts mainly a poor little girl named Lupita, who resists his efforts, and a trio of brothers who fall all too easily, and hatch their own plan to kidnap Santa and steal all his toys.Sound weird right? Well it only gets weirder. You see, in this story Santa doesn't live at the North Pole, he lives in a space-castle directly above the North Pole. And there are no elves. Rather he's aided by stereotypical children from around the world, who are introduced in an endless scene with no clear purpose. Come to think of it, where do they live the rest of the year? Oh and his ability to "see you when you're sleeping" and "know when you're awake," well that's because he has an array of surveillance equipment that would make Langley drool. He's got a massive telescope with an eyestalk that can see anything, anywhere, even through walls. Plus there's the ear scope, a plastic dish with an ear that can hear anything, plus a machine that looks into children's dreams. Creepy might not be strong enough of a word.You might reasonably ask where he gets all this stuff. Simple, he has Merlin running his own personal Q branch. Besides all this spy gear, Merlin also provides Santa with dream dust, which makes children fall asleep, the "flower to disappear" which makes him invisible, and his reindeer. Yes, the reindeer are oddly creepy mechanical constructs- wind-ups in fact. And if they're exposed to sunlight, they'll disintegrate, leaving him stranded on earth, where he'll die of starvation because he and his people eat food made from clouds because he can't digest our food, and… I swear I'm not making this up. I'm not that creative- or crazy.Once all this is set up -and believe me it takes a while- most of the movie consists of Santa and Pitch playing childish pranks on each other; using a blowtorch on a doorknob to make it red hot, firing toy cannons into each other's backsides, that kind of thing. The biggest moment of suspense comes when a dog trees Santa and the neighbors think he's a burglar. I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that Santa gets home safely, or that poor little Lupita gets the doll she's been wanting for Christmas, or that the bad little boys get what they deserve.So there's no real storyline, not much in the way of excitement or laughs, and you have to wonder just how powerful the denizens of Hell are if all they can accomplish is to make a trio of brats throw rocks through a department store window. This movie also gives us the most distorted view of Christmas since the even worse Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. And yet Santa Claus is apparently considered a holiday classic in Mexico, with showings on network television every year in December. I guess there's no accounting for taste, although this is more the kind of thing I would have expected from Japan.

Santa Claus is not as bad a film as its reputation suggests, in fact I quite enjoyed it despite the obvious flaws. Is it a good movie? Not really. Is it entertaining? I think so. And I think it is better than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians which was hysterically bad but somewhat a must-see just to revel in its awfulness.To say that Santa Claus is strange is an understatement. The story is pretty much a shambles, with incoherent and disconnected scenes, and the writing is awful but makes me laugh, one of the few times when writing as bad as it is brings a smile to my face. The Devil himself looks very, very fake, while they do bastardise Santa Claus a bit. There are also some very night-marish images, as a child I got night-mares from the reindeer alone, as an adult I am not so scared any more but I do get the shivers even looking at them.That said, it is better paced than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, it has better effects I think(they're not great but they aren't appalling either) and sets and colours wise it is quite lavish. The film is a good length, it starts off quite well with some interesting songs, the climax is thrilling and while they are not great by any stretch of the imagination the actors look as though they are having a ball.All in all, this is a very creepy and strange movie, but I was entertained. 5/10 Bethany Cox