(There are Spoilers) Laying in the gutter dead drunk with a possible fractured skull Mike Hammer, Mickey Spillane, is picked up by the police. Instead of being brought to the local hospital for emergency treatment he's brought to the hospice ward to talk to this dying man who's about to kick off. Small time hood Richie Cole, Murray Kash, will only talk to Hammer and no one else and with everyone out of his hospital room, where Cole is on life-support, he spurts out a few puzzling words before checking out for good. The only thing that the inebriated Mike Hammer can make out to Cole's babbling is Velda and the Dragon. It turns out that the reason for Hammer having this farewell chat with Cole is that the dying man was shot with the same gun that killed Senator Leon Knapp in a burglary of his wife's Laura, Shirley Eaton, jewelery in their upstate New York home.It was Cole's mention of Velda Mike Hammer's private secretary who's been missing for years, and the reason he became an alcoholic, that got him excited and willing to go all out to solve Cole's murder in that there's now evidence that she's alive not dead like everyone, including Mike Hammer, thought. Hammer is also contacted by Federal, or CIA, Agent Arthur Rickerby, Llyod Noland, who tells him the truth about the now departed Cole in that he was both CIA and undercover in Europe investigating this super-secret Commie spy ring called Butterfly Two.It just happened that Cole hooked up with Velda who's also CIA, which Hammer didn't know about, in trying to exposed the Commie spies but were found out about through a mole in the US government this lead to both Cole's and Senator Napp's murder. In fact, Hammer later learns, that Senator Knapp's death over a jewel robbery was only a red herring in order for the US State Department not to realize that he was killed because he came too close, like Cole & Velda, in finding out about this Butterfly Two spy ring.Feeling that Velda is still alive Hammer sobers up, even though he's constantly in bars and drinking mugs of beer all throughout the movie, and goes out to find who was responsible for Cole's and Senator Napp's murder. Hammer sensing that their killer is now out to get the missing and elusive Velda who's the only one who not only knows his identity but who he works for: Butterfly Two. Checking out the secret's of the Butterfly Two spy organization with his good friend news columnist Hy Gardner Hammer finds out that it existed in Europe will before the Commies took over Czarist Russia. The organization was infiltrated by the Commies after WWI and is now in the process of secretly overthrowing all the free world governments, from within. Making their demises look like popular revolutions without the leaders of the free world knowing that it's really the Commies who are doing it. It turns out that the very existence of freedom and democracy in the world now hinges on the broad shoulders of private dick Mike Hammer who goes out to put a stop to Butterfly Two but also to find and rescue his secretary and girlfriend Velda. Despite being an obvious Neanderthal, in his brutal and no holds bar dealings with the enemies of freedom and democracy, Hammer's unique caveman-like charm does in fact score points with the fairer sex. We see him get classy and refined Laura Knapp, the dead Senator Knapp's wife, to practically jump in the sack with him the first time she lays her eyes on the big gorilla. Laura even strips down to the most reveling of bikinis, that would be allowed to be shown on the screen back then in 1963, wherever Hammer shows up at Laura's place in his investigation of her husbands murder.Finding out from a number of close friends and informants that this mysterious Dragon is the Commies, or Butterfly Two, top assassin Hammer now knows that times running out on Velda and that she's sure to be knocked off if he doesn't stop him and stop him soon. With the help of his newsboy friend Duck-Duck, Clive Endersby, who left him in this secret letter inside a magazine the location where he can find Velda, dead or alive, Hammer tracks down the Dragon that leads to a knock down and drag out fight. The Dragon ends up getting the worst of it with him being impaled with a spike driving through his right hand in order to keep him from escaping justice; it looked like Hammer in his excitement to save Valda forgot to take his handcuff along.The movie ends without any Velda, which makes you wonder if there's a part II in the works, but with Mike Hammer discovering who the mole that's feeding Butterfly Two all this top secret information is. He turns out to be someone that anybody watching the movie would have guessed it is as soon as he, or her, appeared on the screen. Even though his acting in the movie was really nothing to write home about Mickey Spillane did very much look the part of his creation Mike Hammer, The mans got a face that looked as if it was used by the US Navy's 16 inch guns for target practice. Not really an actor, just playing himself, Mickey Spillane did show he can handle the part of the durable and brutal Mike Hammer especially when he gets, or gives in return, the hell beat out of him. What did surprise me about Spillane in how cool and confident he was with the ladies who, besides the gorgeous Laura Knapp, just couldn't resist the big lug no matter how crude and uncouth he acted towards them.

This movie is a perfect illustration that good dialog in a book doesn't necessarily translate to good dialog in film. When one reads a line like "They just don't make dragons like they used to" it doesn't sound a corny as it does when spoken by a wooden Mickey Spillane.And the biggest problem isn't that Mickey Spillane is such a bad actor - it's that his is not the worst performance in the movie. Only Lloyd Nolan manages to sound like he's not reading lines off the back of a cereal box. Especially bad performances are put in by Hy Gardner as a newspaper columnist and Scott Peters' over the top job as a police captain and former partner of Hammer. At least Gardner has an excuse since he wasn't a professional actor like Peters. Shirley Eaton models a wide range of bikinis and is always easy on the eyes if not on the brain.Like any good pulp fiction, the plot of The Girl Hunters is besides the point. Hammer's old secretary Velda plays the role of the macguffin and Hammer spends his time trying to follow her trail and the murder of a politician. The end comes without us ever finding out what happened to Velda but it really doesn't matter. This movie is all style and no substance so we really never care about Velda.No Mike Hammer film is going to be make anyone forget Shakespeare but this is really a waste of time. I give it two stars only because the cinematography is good and Nolan shows what a real actor can do.Finally, why did they black out the credit at the end of the movie stating it was filmed at MGM studios in England? A strange ending to a strange mess of a movie.

Granted, the other posters have valid comments.......Spillane cannot really act. However, for some bizarre reason, his stilted, monotone delivery works for me.My major complaint, regarding acting, would have to concern Scott Peters, as Hammer's former partner. He screeches his way through every scene he's in, and he makes it completely unbelievable that his character could ever have been friends with Hammer.The soundtrack is indeed grating. The crashing score overpowers many of the scenes, derailing the film noirish approach to the material.Eaton is indeed great, although the usually wonderful Nolan comes across as a bit cartoonish.That all being said, I still recommend this film, if only for the experience of seeing Spillane play his own creation.One side note: WHAT happened to Velda????

I was shocked to see a movie with a writer actually playing one of his characters, especially one as iconic--or, at least, notable--as Mike Hammer. I can only recall Stephen King playing in some of his scripts, but even then he did not tend to be a major, featured character. His stories have soared most with great actors, writing, and directing behind them ("The Green Mile," "Shawshank Redemption," "The Shining," "Misery," and many others).Mickey Spillane is woefully short of King's humility, though. The movie has an intriguing plot, but is convoluted beneath the weight of bad acting and mostly wretched delivery. The dialogue is actually pretty believable, all things considered, but you can feel the crowd assembled on the screen is mostly amateurs. The amateurish feel coupled with the somewhat on-target dialog sort of coupled to create a more "fun" movie than what is probably intended and it stays thin on the noir-ish elements, which often seem clichéd in most movies anyway.Spillane is generally horrible as a supposed slick lady's man--which Stacy Keach carried off much more believably with his charisma and acting chops, if not looks, on television. Spillane's pretty dry and one-note as Hammer, but at least he doesn't tend to ham it up. In fact, I'm not sure he is capable of ham.Shirley Eaton is excellent as the eye candy and Hammer's love interest, but Spillane just butchers some of his lines with her; for example, when she asks Hammer if he loves her, Spillane lowly rasps in the back of his throat, "I think I do, baby." It's really a pretty lame attempt at being emotional. And, kissing together? Just horrible face-mashing and a real waste of such an exquisite beauty as Eaton's. Spillane just has no idea how to be expressive and believable; his face is just a pancake throughout the movie. It gives a certain "naturalism" to the movie, but probably not in a good way for someone that needs to be as dynamic as Mike Hammer.Though it would have been very easy to have it, there is almost no dramatic tension in this movie, just a series of pasted-together scenes that Spillane meanders through. On a highly superficial level it works--the basic pieces ultimately fit--but there's no elegance to the design, probably due to lack of presentation on the part of most of the actors.The story is good enough to be re-made as a true noir-ish exploit, but the acting and stylistic elements need a real working through.