I will say that this is not the worst movie I have ever seen. However it is definitely down there as one of the worst, and if it weren't for a couple of small redeeming qualities I would rate it even worse than I am doing at the moment. The very start does have some stylish shots and some nicely done desert scenes, some parts of the music score was haunting and there is one intense scene where someone has his fingers chopped off with scissors.Aside from that, Hillside Crazies is just terrible. What started off so promisingly rapidly descends into sheer ridiculousness and ugliness. Visually after the first 10 minutes, Hillside Crazies looks very amateurish. The photography is generally haphazard, while the lighting is dull and the effects slapdash at best. The scenery is nothing to write home about either, it doesn't feel authentic and adds little to the atmosphere. The music has some moments, but those are too far and between as the rest is annoyingly repetitive and jars with the basic tone of the film.Hillside Crazies is atrociously written as well. The dialogue is dumb and contrived, I can't count how many times I've heard variations of "You've got balls, I give you that" but what's for sure is that it is enough to make me go nuts. The characters are not likable in the slightest, I'll forgive for a moment that they are clichéd- few movies around aren't actually- but I cannot forgive the fact that every single one of these characters had no development to them whatsoever and irritated the heck out of me.The story is quite possibly the worst asset. It is dull and predictable, with no suspenseful or genuinely frightening or exciting moments. Any scenes that have potential are completely ruined by lack of sense, bad acting, amateurish visuals, a complete lack of atmosphere or a bit of all. And before I forget, I have not in a long time have seen a movie as ridiculous as Hillside Crazies, ranging from the Sheriff and the cannibals suddenly being able to understand one another, someone being cut in half and you can clearly see her blinking and for one cannibal or whatsoever she is even has perfectly shaved legs. These are just a handful of noticeable and I think unforgivable- in that it insults the intelligence, even my brother who doesn't take movies seriously even when they're bad thought so- mistakes.In regards to the acting, it has been worse in other Asylum movies. Heather Conforto gets a dishonourable mention in that she as attractive as she is has no talent whatsoever as an actress. Everyone else is bad as well, with the impression that they either overdo it badly or that they don't want to be there. The cannibals also managed to be acting more cavemen than cannibals.Overall, a real car-wreck of a movie. If it weren't for the promising beginning and one halfway-decent scene in the rest of the movie, Hillside Crazies would have been unwatchable. A generous 2/10 Bethany Cox

Hillside Cannibals (2006)* 1/2 (out of 4)The Asylum's rip-off of THE HILLS HAVE EYES has five friends going into the desert only to quickly have three of them dead. The cannibals take a fourth victim and it's up to his girlfriend (Heather Conforto) to go back into the hills and try to save him. I'm not sure if The Asylum had their reputation in place back when this film was originally released but viewing it today one will more than likely already know about the company and the type of movies they release. This one here isn't nearly the worst thing they've done but it's also very clear that it's a pretty bad movie that only has a couple things going for it. I think the biggest problem is the horrible cannibals. There's not a single frame where you actually believe you're looking at some mountain cannibals who have been around for ages living off the land and people who enter their land. Their cave pretty much has nothing except for fake looking skulls and bones lying around. Was this meant to scare of? The cannibals also talk some stupid language and it's clear that it's never meant to make any sort of sense. There's also elements of the film that rips Craven's version including the young family member who at first goes against their families wishes. The performances in the film really aren't anything to write home about and especially those playing the cannibals but I think the majority of the problem falls on the director for not giving them some better range to act in. The only thing that really keeps the film moving along is the fact that it does contain some pretty violent and gory scenes. As a horror fan I really hate watching bad movies like this one and there not being any gore so at least they gave us that. I also like the way the film ended but most people probably won't get to see it as they'll have already turned the picture off.

right this must act as a warning stay away from this garbage film, I'm already miffed that i got suckered in and actually paid for the DVD. This tedious garbage seems to be utterly devoid of plot, all you get is some kids (of which it is impossible to care about devoid of personality as they are) go to the dessert get eaten by cannonballs who enjoy incest, thats it the plot save you watching this utter utter tripe. The only thing that is mildly decent about this is the effects are OK which hints at either a really good effects team or this film was funded far more money than it deserves. Terrible STAY AWAY. Seriously terrible not even in the so bad its good category

Alright, I was in Blockbuster today on my lunch break and spotted to preview sleeves for this (both copies were actually rented out). It claimed to be the tale that inspired the Hills Have Eyes. Um, WHAT?! That is the most bogus claim I've ever read! Hey director/script writer: watch the documentary on the original Hills Have Eyes (1977) 2-disk by Anchor Bay. In it, Wes Craven states that the inspiration for the Hills Have Eyes was a cave-dwelling medieval (sp?) family in the British Isles (the Seaney-Beane family I believe). Wes Craven should sue the hell out of the "production company" of this "film" for libel! I am insulted that anyone would try to cash in on film-renters' ignorance of a subject by just plain lying. I came across another video box for "When A Killer Calls" which claims to be more like the urban legend (the babysitter and the man upstairs) than the original When A Stranger Calls. RUBBISH! I CALL SHINANIGANS!!