....but this movie is surprisingly watchable.Let's just get this straight, there is nothing new here. One-Eyed Monster "borrows" from several "Aliens take over the world" movies. It is derivative in overall story and alien presentation to at least a dozen films. Several scenes, themselves, are practically snatched out of other flicks and inserted at will here.What makes this movie entertaining is it's level of campiness. The special effects are terrible, but that only adds to the comedic silliness. The actors and actresses do a fine job in this sci/fi black comedy. Never thought I would type these words, but Jeff Denton is brilliant as the sleazy director. Usually terrible in any movie he does (and very often fodder in my IMDb reviews), Jeff Denton steals every one of his scenes. If you come across this movie on the Sci/Fi Channel, or if you could pick it up cheaply on eBay, it is certainly worth at least one viewing. Just don't expect to see "Independence Day."

Have you ever giggled for 90 minutes? I just did while watching this movie. Whoever paid to make this, thank you. May it live as a midnight movie forever. Is it silly? Hell yes. Is it smart? Very. Scary? Not particularly, but this is a comedy first and foremost, and on that level it succeeds brilliantly. The actors are first rate, even the unknowns, but I have to say that Charles Napier steals the show with an unforgettable monologue that is clearly a nod to Robert Shaw in "Jaws" and Amber (Buffy the Vampire) Benson is effective as always. Yeah, there's not enough nudity for a movie about a killer penis and porn stars, but I can see nudity from a thousand porn sites. Only a select group of movies can make me laugh, though, and this is one of them, so I'll take the trade-off.

The premise is bold and charming enough, and "it's raining dick" does qualify as a classic monologue. But ultimately, there's not enough meat here to satisfy.The biggest fail is poor Amber Benson, who clearly joined the project late on to provide a 'name' of sorts. It's painfully obvious that she was actually green-screened in to several scenes in post production, often with wildly different encoding/film stock than the other cast. Somewhere out there is a no-name actress who shot those scenes and who was simple overlayed with the usefully chunky Ms Benson. I weep for her, and for her career.Don't get me wrong: with the right amount of moonshine in you, this is quite a fun film, amiably played and competently written and shot, but it's too good to be bad enough to be good, but not good enough to enjoy on its merits, if you follow.

Despite the surprisingly solid performances from all the cast, the script and story failed to deliver on a fresh and unique premise.The film either had a genre identity crisis or was quite simply pushed on to celluloid before the script was properly polished. It's like watching a professional crew film a first draft script.It ran the gamut between clever and stupid and often found its cruising speed on the ridiculous and mundane. A better knowledge of the initial setting would also have been helpful.I was expecting / hoping for a solid dark comedy with horror undertones, but was painfully disappointed. So many obvious comedic dialogue opportunities were missed, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and story choices that defied common sense, left me with the impression of a family funded backyard film project, despite the professional production values.I would recommend this film to aspiring screenwriters to see what their 1st draft scripts would look like on screen...