If it weren't for MST3K, I wouldn't have seen or known of The Final Sacrifice in the first place. While it is not the worst of their movies featured(Manos, Monster A-Go Go, Wild World of Batwoman, Space Mutiny and Hobgoblins), it is one of MST3K best and most entertaining reviews/riffs. Make no mistake, The Final Sacrifice is a dire movie but because it made me amused at times, partly because the review and partly because of the absurdity of the characters' names, I can't say that it had no redeeming qualities. Despite those patches of amusement, The Final Sacrifice is one of those movies that has more cons than it has pros. The camera work and editing are not quite as amateurish as Space Mutiny, but it is very slip-shod and continuity-ridden, never shrugging off the viewer's notions that it looks and feels like a first draft of a student film. The dialogue is awkward and laughably bad, I wouldn't be all that surprised if it was improvised often, while the story is ridiculous personified(like the cult knocking on Troy's door after he finds the map seven years after his dad was killed by the same cult) and due to the abruptness of the ending it feels unfinished also. The acting is terrible, with the fake voices it was very difficult to take them seriously, playing the characters for a laugh- as it seemed- didn't work as everything was far too amateur-hour-ish. The worst asset is the soundtrack, being badly recorded, annoyingly orchestrated, overpowering and hugely repetitive(it's literally only 3 pieces of music, all three of which sound as though they belong elsewhere). Overall, dire but I've seen worse, on MST3K and generally. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Troy McGreggor (Malcolm) is an inquisitive teen who just happens to find a map to a mystical lost city called Ziox while rummaging through some junk in his attic. Unfortunately, an evil cult run by the sinister Satoris (Marceau) want the map to aid them in their quest for world domination. As Troy flees from the cult, he runs into a beer-swilling, chain-smoking, denim-jacketed, mulleted, surly drifter inexplicably named Zap Rowsdower (Mitchell). While Zap is an overweight, embittered alcoholic, Troy is a rail-thin, squeaky-voiced dork. As the original odd couple, they must fend off the cult as they continue their Quest For the Lost City. But what's the secret behind the "Bowtie" tattoo? Find out tonight! Originally titled The Final Sacrifice (that's the title under which it was mocked/popularized by Mystery Science Theater 3000), AIP picked it up and retitled it for its VHS release in the U.S. As part of that, they had to get some models to do some posed shots that have nothing to do with the movie, as often happens with VHS covers of the 80's/early 90's. Those people you see on the cover are certainly not Zap and Troy.To have the character of Troy be the hero is an interesting choice - he's unbelievably skinny, wears a nerdy red sweater with a white-collar shirt underneath the entire movie, and his voice sounds like someone puree-ing a dying bird on High. But then to match him with Zap is just...an amazing decision. This guy is Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force ten years before Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He's such a raving alcoholic, there's actually a scene where Troy fights the cult by using a box of empty bottles of Zap's booze he just happens to have in the back of his pickup truck. Some have guns, some have swords, but Zap was on his way to the bottle return to get his five-cent exchanges. Should be enough to put the kibosh on a sinister cult bent on taking over the planet.You know Satoris is evil because he has a black trenchcoat. This movie once again is ahead of the curve as it predates the trenchcoat mafia. That being said, there is an entirely separate credit for "Satoris' Makeup" during the end credits. His minions are guys in black tank tops and executioner hoods. This may remind you of Bad Taste (1987), where the baddies have blue shirts. But it's a clever move because the masks allow some repetition of goons without the viewer knowing. But the question remains why director/co-writer Tjardus Greidanus thought audiences would rally behind a big-eared dweeb and a bloated hobo as the movie's central heroes.It's Canadian, it's low-budget, and it's somewhat mysterious (that it was edited by "The Flying Dutchman" adds to the mystique). You could tell they were trying, and they got this movie out there. That's commendable. It's more than the people who mean-spiritedly ridicule this movie will ever do (except maybe MST3K).While it's not entirely representative of the AIP canon, and we wouldn't necessarily say to go out of your way to pick this up, if you see it somewhere, like a thrift store or something like that, grab it. It's a lot of fun with a group of pals.For more action insanity, please visit: www.comeuppancereviews.com

Somewhere in Alberta (Eagle Hat?), Troy MacGregor is trying to find out why his father was killed when he comes across a map of the Ziox civilization in his attic. He's not the only interested party however, and is chased by Satoris and his hooded thugs. Troy chances up with Zap Rowsdower(yikes) who just happened to be a member of the cult until he was kicked out. Zap seems to have an instant dislike for Troy,as did I, and tries to rid himself of him by turning him into the police. As events unfold, it turns out the pair are close to where the map places the city so Troy investigates. Soon they meet up with Mike Pipper, who is Troy's fathers former partner. He's also the filthiest, grimiest man ever to grace the screen. Troy is kidnapped by the cult so Zap is off to save him and the truth about what happened to Troy's dad comes out in one big happy Chevy pickup truck flavored ending.Alright, it all sounds like a great story, but really, it's not told all that well. I guess it was made by some college students on a bus fare budget, which actually seems to add to the appeal. All the characters are hilarious at best. Rowsdower is an out of shape drunk with awful hair. Troy is a stick thin nerd who fills out a red sweater like nobody's business. And of course there's Mike Pipper and Satoris. Pipper's voice must be heard to be believed and Satoris is just terrible as the villain.Still, I actually will watch this movie and kind of like it. I've seen the MST3K version and I love it, but I've also seen it without Mike and the bots. It has a certain charm to it. It's not good by any means but it's fun and fun to laugh at. All in all, I say give it a try if you can find it.

While rummaging through his father's old stuff, a boy named Troy discovers a map that leads to an ancient civilization. Troy thinks the map may also lead to answers to his father's death. But there are other, darker forces at work. A cult bent on world domination wants to get hold of the map. With the help of a former cult member named Rowsdower, Troy hopes to get to the bottom of the mystery before he ends up like his father.While I usually pride myself in being able to separate the two, in the case of The Final Sacrifice, it's really difficult to imagine watching the movie without the Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary. The movie seems to have been tailor made for that type of ridicule and mockery. From Mike Pipper's Yosemite Sam-like voice to the over-weight Canadian guys in black hoods and tank top running through the woods to the nonsensical plot to the cardboard Ziox civilization – it's like shooting fish in a barrel – the riffs just can't miss. I've probably seen The Final Sacrifice a half-dozen or more times and I'm always astounded at the ineptitude of it all. Some things are so bizarre, however, that it leaves me scratching my head in wonderment: • Zap Rowsdower? Really? You've got to be joking. The name, the actor, the character motivation – none of it makes the least bit of sense.• Troy McGreggor? Again, you've got to be joking? I sincerely doubt you could find a punier or bonier looking guy to play the role. And that incessant whining of the name "Rowsdower". It makes me want to slap the guy every time he opens his mouth.• Plot coincidences. Can you write a plot with more unrealistic and unfathomable plot coincidences? Take the bad guys timing in coming after Troy. The map has been sitting undiscovered in Troy's attic for seven years. That's right – SEVEN years. But the moment Troy discovers the map, the bad guys immediately show up on his doorstep. Yeah, right. Or take Troy's chance meeting of Rowsdower. Of all the trashy, redneck pick-up trucks in Canada, what are the chances Troy would pick one to climb in that just happens to be owned by a former member of the cult that's chasing him? Not very likely.• Is Canada really that desolate of a place? Troy's aunt's house appears to be in a neighborhood of some sort. Is there no one around to notice that something's amiss when hooded goons take a chainsaw to her front door? Does no one notice a band of thugs chasing Troy on his bike? And why doesn't someone notice the shootout Rowsdower and the cult members have on the highway? Is this kind of activity normal in Canada? This is too easy and I've barely scratched the surface. I haven't mentioned the lousy technical aspects of the film, the amateurish acting, the poor special effects, or the ridiculous music score. The Final Sacrifice has it all and none of it is good. Because of some unintentional entertainment value I derive from the film, I can't rate it any lower than a 2/10. But as far as MST3K episodes goes, it makes for one of the best. I'll give that version a 5/5 on my MST3K rating scale. Enjoy.