This farted out at every angle and really didn't need to. Probably due to the inept direction of a TV producer with a string a failures. I should have known when the opening credits were the graphics from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air".A few good ariel shots that went on---and on---and on---Willis? Goodman? For starters, why? Not like you're going to get an Oscar-worthy performance from Willis, but this guy still commands as much as a million per day. Why---this? The entire thing probably only cost a couple million. He walked through it and sounded and looked very tired. Very old. Didn't make him look good.How do you then get a weary performance from Goodman? Slightly amusing in the 2nd half but too little, too late. Essentally a plot you've seen a 1000 times before that could have been colorful and funny, given the setting. It even had a f'ing dog for poops sake. But nope! Wandered for quite a bit on jokes I'm sure everybody throught were just hilarious before any sort of story began. Grafitti on the side of an apartment building and this can't get solved the next day?Willis watches the girl he's after step out of a car and enter a motel. THEN he asks a male prostitute if he's seen the girl? (Willis even drove a slow car.) The lazy logistics of Willis and Goodman just walking into the black bar with a shotgun and hand grenade. And why didn't the black gangster run when the grenade was dropped? The bad guy real estate investor signed and notarized a contract for grafitti? And just as lazy cursory character archs, tacked on. A decent cast, though, of B and C listers who actually tried, especially Thomas Middleditch. Do they all hang out at the same bar in Malibu? This is what they do on a lark? I'm actually thinking some sort of modern day "The Producers" accounting scam to make money on a losing movie.It's cause they know I'm a sucker for a decent trailer, isn't it? I KNEW IT!

I stopped watching the minute I spotted grandpa Willis (butt naked) being beaten up and eventually chased through the streets by the brothers of the twenty-something year old woman he had just slept with. I like grandpa Willis but I really think it's time for him to retire if these are the kind of scripts that are landing in his agent's inbox.

'ONCE UPON A TIME IN VENICE': Four and a Half Stars (Out of Five)An action comedy starring Bruce Willis as a private investigator in Los Angeles, that's desperately trying to get his dog back from the gang of criminals that stole it. The movie also costars Thomas Middleditch, John Goodman, Jason Momoa, Famke Janssen, Stephanie Sigman, Adam Goldberg and Kal Penn. It was directed by debut feature filmmaker Mark Cullen, and it was written (and co-produced) by Mark and Robb Cullen; the duo also co-wrote 2010's 'COP OUT' (which also starred Willis). The movie received a VOD and indie theatrical release, and it's also gotten mostly negative reviews from critics. I really enjoyed it.The story revolves around a Los Angeles private detective named Steve Ford (Willis), and his assistant John (Middleditch). John narrates the film by describing Steve's current life, and adventures, to the audience. He also helps Steve out with some of his newest jobs. When Steve steals a car back for a friend, from a local drug dealer named Spyder (Momoa), Spyder retaliates by stealing a bunch of stuff from Steve, including his dog. When Steve goes to get the dog back, Spyder talks him into doing a dangerous job for him, in return for the dog. The movie is a lot better than I was expecting it to be. I liked 'COP OUT', because I thought it was nicely directed (by Kevin Smith), and it has a cool 80s cop movie feel to it (like 'BEVERLY HILLS COP', especially the music). It wasn't nearly as funny as this though, parts of it were pretty bad actually (mostly due to Tracy Morgan). This film is always clever, amusing and fun. It's not really an action movie, but it does have some fights and guns in it. The whole cast is good in their parts as well, and they seemed to be having a lot of fun. It's just a really fun, entertaining movie in my opinion, especially if you like Bruce Willis.Watch an episode of our movie review show 'MOVIE TALK' at: https://youtu.be/KR0HDeT91m0

I bloody love Bruce Willis... always have liked him since he was the silly and annoying David Allison on Moonlighting. The guy's got moxie!But this is horrible. An annoying clown, Thomas Middleditch, narrates his way through the movie because we're too stupid to figure it out on our own. Every time this tosser appears on screen or says anything I just want to punch him in the face. Why he's even there at all is beyond me... unless it's to make everyone else look good!Bruce Willis and John Goodman look bored. They have clearly been blackmailed into doing this crap-fest. Either that or the money was worth sacrificing their dignity for.I hope Bruce finds an interest in making good movies again. The bloke is a talented comedy actor... but he's also been coming across like a burned out, lazy, spoiled git in the last few years.As for the movie itself... the (alleged) comedy is forced and stilted. The characters are dull and difficult to engage with. Bruce naked skateboarding on a busy street isn't funny. It should be, but the ham-fisted direction destroys it.Bruce looks like he's following the Robert De Niro school of acting career trajectories... make some classic stuff when you're young and ride the wave for as long as you can!