REVENANT (originally titled MODERN VAMPIRES) is a low budget vampire comedy that was marketed as a straightforward vampire horror flick here in the UK. Either way it's a dog of a film, shot on what looks like no budget and in the dark, and made as a TV movie too. This spoofy yarn supposedly reveals the real life of the modern Hollywood vampire, which seems to involve hanging around in nightclubs and acting incredibly vapid and self-centred.A plethora of gore gags and lame make-up effects are thrown into the mix to try to make something stick, but the truth is that this is a lamentable film indeed. There's nothing worse than an unfunny comedy, and REVENANT is exactly that; I can honestly say I didn't laugh once. John Landis's INNOCENT BLOOD is a perfect example of the genre at its finest and this film doesn't even come close to the quality of that movie.Bizarrely, Rod Steiger makes an appearance as Van Helsing here, so you have to feel for him a little. But wooden actors like Casper Van Dien and Kim Cattrall both should know better. There's a mercifully brief cameo from Udo Kier, but for much of the running time we have to put up with the appalling grating accents of Craig Ferguson and his buddies. As I said, it's a dog of a film.

A complete romp of a vampire movie. Tired of hackneyed vampiric angst? Tired of vanilla Hollywood vamps? Do you prefer your undead driving Camaros, smoking huge cigars and listening to The Reverend Horton Heat? This may just be the film for you. I don't think I stopped grinning at any point during this movie, except when I was laughing. This is a vampire film for people who like movies like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Snakes on a Plane, Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town and From Dusk Till Dawn. It certainly isn't Nosferatu, but it will expose the entire Blade trilogy and every Anne Rice film adaptation to the sun and then stake them through the heart whilst screaming the Lords Prayer, and at a budget that probably amounts to about the same as two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Highly recommended, everyone who reviewed it badly needs to chill the hell out.

Modern Vampires is a brilliant and original little satire. Casper Van Dien is the ultimate hipster vampire, smoking cigars and cruising around in his '68 Camaro muscle car. Rod Stieger as the self righteous Van Helsing, paired with gangsta Crips as his posse is absurd and sublime. I laughed my head off. The trailer park scene of Natasha Wagner, now a poor white trash little vampire confronting her parents was poignant, however the tone of the film overall is a funny well crafted tale. This is a film that gets better and better over time. Beware that the TV version (as opposed to the DVD) has cuts that make some of the plot hard to follow, especially missing is the scene of Kim Cattrall turning into a demon before the Crips... (and I won't tell you more). The film is absolutely brilliant!

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*Certain actors appearing in a B-movie scream quality. I'm talking about such heavyweights as Mario Van Peebles or Ice-T. Now add Casper Van Dien to that roll call of B-movie greatness. I long for the day when all three of those giants show up in the same movie. I can see the video box now: VAN Peebles and VAN Dien in "Kill Shoot II!" My VCR would explode with delight."Modern Vampires" continues Van Dien's tradition of quality B-mayhem. He's a vampire in L.A. and things happen. My God, how could you ask for more? The blood and naked breasts are out of control. One scene in a clothing store has Natasha Wagner making out with another vampire woman. WOO-HOO! Loved it. Rod Steiger shows up to kill some vampires and he brings some gang members with him. If you're a Van Dien believer like I am, check this one out. I'm not saying this movie is scary or even pretends to be a horror movie, but it delivers the sleaze to please.