Watched this for about 15 minutes and turned it off, in short this is a porn movie for little old ladies and girls

I love Conan/ Middle Earth type of movies, although for some reason the original Conan lacked appeal to me, perhaps because it looked like Arnold wore a wig the whole time. In this film we get a significant childhood view of Conan as a person who has more heart than brains. After his village is destroyed and his father killed, Conan wanders the earth to find the man and seek revenge.He comes to a town involved in slave trade, kills the traders and frees the topless women in a cage. Later soldiers show up and Conan deliberately gets himself arrested so he can get inside of the prison camp to get information. Of course armed guards are no match for a chained Conan.Conan is a barbarian, a Viking type. Another tribe appears to mimic Native Americans with Mohawks and another of the 12 tribes mimics Mongolian. The problem with Conan, the Barbarian is that he speaks as a barbarian with bad lines and a bad delivery. The CG specials effects make this a better film. There is a good supporting cast, however Conan himself was just written poorly. For most people this should just be a rental.No f-bombs, nudity, one poorly lit sex scene.

The Good: Casting. All around, Momoa really nailed the role of Conan. He's strong, abrasive, bloodthirsty, and bears conviction. The cast as a whole really gave the film the highest rating I could give it.Also Good: Hyboria. The Picts looks quite terrifying early in the film, even if they fall like straw men. The film did a nice job exploring a few other areas of Hyboria that the 80's films never did. All in all, those who read the old books will find a lot of Easter eggs to enjoy here.The Bad: The final act of the movie was just as boring as could be. Why do we care what the villain does with this really weird-looking octopus mask? The final battle sequence was a critical failure that ended the film with a whimper instead of a "Wow!"Also Bad: Action sequences. There are many throughout the film and for each that will sincerely impress you, there are equally as many that are simply laughable. The Ugly: The director, Marcus Nispel, may have given some fresh life to Hyboria, but at the cost of a coherent story and developed characters. You will reach the end of the movie knowing just as much about the characters as when you first started watching it. There's no depth to the characters (hero and villain alike). Character development is forgotten entirely. The stakes of the story are lost in a hodgepodge of randomly strung-together action sequences.Overall, there's enough to like about the movie to make it watchable, but not enough to really wow an audience looking for so much more out of this rich universe.

Conan the Barbarian is a really basic action/fantasy movie, and with really basic I mean really basic.The movie begins with short introduction to the world (voiced by the great Morgan Freeman)and after that an introduction to the main character Conan, the story really begins when a bad guy kills Conan's family in search for a magic artifact which will give him great power, Conan survives and goes on a revenge quest. The bad guy gives Conan some time to grow up and then finds the last thing he needs for his ritual, a woman with some special old blood. Conan and this girl meet each other and of course the fall in love. But happiness doesn't last long and the girl get's captured by the bad guy so Conan needs to go and rescue her. He of course succeeds to rescue here kill the bad guy and escape. And that's it.The movie itself was structured like a simple video-game, intro-walking-boss level-walking-boss level-etc-etc-final boss level(the last two boss levels even took place in a video-game like environment).But unlike the protagonist in a video-game Conan is invincible, there were dozens of times where he could've been easily killed but for some reason he just didn't The characters all came straight from the cookie-cutter, none off them had any depth and there wasn't any character development either. So because of this the characters were boring and this made the movie boring.Another minor thing that let this movie down where it's special effects they looked bad, especially in some of the fight-scenes.So overall this was a bad movie about a guy who liked swinging his sword, with bad structuring, boring characters and a way to basic plot. I would give this movie a 4,3/10