QUEST FOR THE EGG SALAD seems to be Chris Seaver's way of showing he could make no budget comedies in genres other than the schlock horror he is best known for, i.e. his appalling FILTHY MCNASTY trilogy. This one's a would-be fantasy epic, shot in the woods in the LORD OF THE RINGS style, and told via a framing device narrative copied from THE PRINCESS BRIDE.Unfortunately, it turns out to be just as appallingly awful as Seaver's other films, albeit slightly less offensive. Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of bad taste material here, it's just not as bad as seen elsewhere. The whole film consists of non-actors dressed in rubber costumes and saying dumb dialogue in the woods. It's very lousy, and yes, you guessed it, the dumb Teen Ape character has another cameo.

this film is the absolute WORST i've ever seen! i've seen some REAL stinkers too like Manos: The Hand of Fate, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Gymkata, Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, They, War of the Robots, Robot Holocaust, Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy and Hercules in New York, to name a few, but this film is in a league all it's own! i'd previously considered Backwoods to be the absolute most hideous film with no redeeming values until i saw this steaming pile of doo.i actually LIKE cheesy movies and low budget parodies, but this is no Attack of the Killer Tomatos or Dark Star.basically, it's just a bunch of the most obnoxious suburban teenage jerks with a camcorder thinking they're funny and making a movie. it's supposed to be a parody of Lord of the Rings, but all it is is those obnoxious punks constantly talking about sex acts (with A lot of very sadistic mysogyny), using ebonics and in general acting like idiots.this is "toilet humor" taken to it's extreme and is not funny when that's all this cast is capable of. imagine a bunch of suburban junior high students who mouth off to their parents without ever being disciplined and you'll get an idea of the level these talentless morons operate on.if you think calling women nothing but "b####" constantly and talking about raping them, pouring acid in their eyes and then punching them in the stomach or pretending you're "straight outta da hood" for an hour and a half straight = parody, then watch this movie. otherwise, there's NOTHING else going on in it! it's that one dimensional.

The highlight of this film is in the first minutes, where Teen Ape, while getting head from a perky anonymous skank, accidentally ejaculates across the room into the mouth of our narrator, who then proceeds to dribble what looks like skim milk into said skank's eager mouth, in what has to be the worst attempt at faking a "snowballing" scene in film history. Unfortunately, the ape-groupie departs, and things go rapidly downhill from there. Some of Teen Ape's obnoxious crude sexual commentary would be funny, if it were not so badly mumbled and incoherent. There are a lot of in-jokes and winks, but nothing funnier than what you'd see in a high school annual. The juxtaposition of medieval dialog with pseudo-gangsta hip-hop slang falls flat, and the crass dialog is too tediously delivered to be funny. One of the great things about truly dreadful movies is that the actors, while dreadful, are somewhat sincere. This cast doesn't suffer from such a misconception however. With a few exceptions, they know they suck, and don't seem to care. The result is more boredom than exploitation. Bright spots: Anonymous Slattern, Elegant Elliott, the Elf Ho', and the Wandering Swordsman.Funniest line: "...and my f**king hand turned mortal!"The Goblin KingIf you're a fan of low-life cinema a la Troma Team, and you expect something similar from this, you'll be disappointed. It's terrible, but not so terrible that it's fun to watch. A good movie to recommend to someone you're mad at.

This entire video seems like one big long boring camcorder out take. Every joke is either stolen or incredibly lame. the costumes are unimaginative. the story is nonexistent. the special effects are crap. there is no action and the sets consist of a garage and a public park. the only redeeming quality is the wandering swordsman. these amateur/immature videographers have a lot to learn about medieval fantasy. lesson 1: throw away the stupid ape mask.