I was watching Rampo Noir on my portable DVD player the other night when the battery ran out of power mid-film; normally this kind of inconvenience would have made me angry, but in this case I was actually appreciative of the break, such is the mind-numbingly tedious nature of this dreary, overlong piece of pretentious art-house drivel.The film comprises of four strange and erotic tales based on the works of celebrated Japanese author Edogawa Rampo, each connected by the recurring themes of mirrors, perverse love, obsession and the fact that they are all utterly incomprehensible.Even though extreme boredom had set in within the first minute of opening tale 'Mars Canal', I persevered, telling myself that, with each part realised by a different director, there was the possibility that one of them might be worth a watch. Sadly, all four episodes turn out to be just as stupefyingly dull as the first, despite the introduction of the odd bit of bondage sex, mutilation and other assorted deviancy.Hell, even Hisayasu Sato, director of such gloriously twisted films as Naked Blood and Wife Collector, fails to impress, having succumbed to the same soporific artsy-fartsy style as his contemporaries. And when that guy doesn't deliver the goods, it's time to start praying for the battery to run out!

Uh.. wow. Here's one you will never forget. Four disgusting and insane shorts that seem loosely connected at times (themes of torture, mirrors, obsession, love, bugs, and.. uh.. Tadanobou Asano are in most of the shorts), all lovingly filmed by 4 different directors. Great acting and beautiful visuals throughout and never a dull moment in its 2 hour running time, this film is actually shockingly beautiful and very experimental at times (see the first story which is completely silent) and is just so full of ideas and life that it should be required viewing for everyone who's into cinema that's a little bit different than the norm.Much more so than the overrated 3... Extremes, this is a film that actually manages to disturb you with its images. Just try getting the images of a disgusting, drooling, dying human caterpillar or a very realistic decomposing corpse out of your head. However, what really sets this film apart are actually the BEAUTIFUL visuals. I can't really describe what makes them so beautiful; you just have to see them.Completely unnerving and endlessly fascinating throughout, this is definitely some kind of masterpiece that doesn't have any of the monotony that bogs down most pictures of this type. In fact, it's hard to choose a favorite short amongst the 4, because they're all so good! Highly recommended.

Rampo Noir is an anthology film that loosely adapts four short stories by Japan's foremost crime/mystery writer Edogawa Rampo (a pseudonym inspired by Edgar Allan Poe.) Often called Japan's Edgar Allan Poe, Rampo's macabre tales frequently involve eccentric and/or disfigured characters enmeshed in bizarre plots that can include anything from a wife who turns her husband into a 'caterpillar' to a chair-maker who buries himself inside one of his own armchairs so women can sit on him. Other (Japanese) films based on Rampo's writing include: Blind Beast, The Horror of Malformed Men and Watcher in the Attic.The first segment is a mostly silent short titled Mars Canal directed by newcomer Suguru Takeuchi. With a runtime of only two minutes it features Tadanobu Asano (Electric Dragon 80.000 V, Ichi the Killer) on some kinda of lunar-scape having flashbacks (dreams?) of beating his girlfriend. Not really much to comment on here - definitely pretty surreal, especially when the lulling silence is suddenly broken with harsh noise sound effects.The next story is called Mirror Hell and is directed by Akio Jissoji. Again Tadanobu Asano stars, this time as Detective Kogoro Akechi who is investigating a series of deaths in which beautiful women are discovered with their faces melted and their skulls turned into ashes. As a hand mirror is always found at the scene of the crime, Detective Akechi soon learns the deaths are the work of Toru (Hiroki Narimiya) a mad mirror-maker who is continuing the Japanese art of mirror-making the traditional way. This whole segment has an extreme kaleidoscopic feel to it as every shot seems to have 100 mirrors in it, which obviously pays off visually. Also included is a rather random rope-bondage 'n' candle wax session which perks things up a bit sleaze-wise.Next up is Hisayasu Sato's (Naked Blood) wonderfully perverse entry, Caterpillar. This is definitely the best of the bunch - First Lieutenant Sunaga (Nao Omori) returned from war relatively unharmed but in a psychotically desperate attempt to stop him from returning to the battlefield his wife (Yukiko Okamoto) amputated both his arms and legs and now cares for him as her 'little caterpillar'. I must mention that caring for him includes brutally whipping him, slicing off one of his nipples with a straight razor, gouging out one of his eyes and other deviant acts. This is all gorgeously shot in true Sato style (albeit on a slightly bigger budget than usual) with strange sequences shot in colored negative in which we see through the 'caterpillars' eyes, desolate surroundings and a fantastic finale.Finally we come to Manga artist Atsushi Kaneko's film-making debut - Crawling Bugs. The story centers around a chauffeur named Masaki (again played by Tadanobu Asano) who becomes obsessed with one of his famous passengers, stage actress Fuyu Kinoshita (Tamaki Ogawa). Masaki is a certified Mysophobe (hates germs & dirt) and gets a nasty rash on his neck when he touches people. Seeing as he is madly in love with Fuyu but can't exactly touch her, he figures a way round this by killing her and taking her home to live with him?! This has to be my second favorite entry as it has some of the most surreal imagery - an almost hallucinogenic set-piece in Masaki's home (mind?) where he paints the dead actress multicolors then unsuccessfully tries to inject her with embalming fluid, resulting in a bloodbath. Plenty of black humor here too - when the police burst into Masaki's apartment he calmly pulls his head free from the rotting belly of his 'lover' and says "what?''. Atsushi Kaneko is one director I'll definitely be keeping an eye on.Overall, an excellent anthology which showcases a coupla up 'n' coming Japanese directors and which may also introduce a few more folk to the wonders of Edogawa Rampo.

Lengthy anthology of films made from stories by Edogowa Rampo, that all seem to revolve around obsessive love and the consequences of feeling; 'Since I fell in love with you my life has been hell'. First up, 'Mars Canal' comprises a naked man walking across what appears to be a lunar landscape and recalling a naked fight with a lover (?). Not much in this one for me and 'experimental' would probably be the correct tag. Next up, Mirror Hell was a fairly interesting but rather convoluted tale involving mirrors and ladies dying after a tea ceremony. I liked a lot of this but thought it could have been better told. Caterpillar, I thought was masterful. We are confronted with a mere torso and head of a man who is being further injured and degraded (and whipped) by his wife. She says he has returned injured from war and only she can bear to face him but certainly does not treat him very 'lovingly' as we would conceive of the word. There is a lot here of love and hate, of need and possession and although it is at times very hard to watch I was most impressed. The final, Crawling Bugs, doesn't quite match up to the Sato film but is well shot and certainly well worth watching. All told a surprisingly good quartet and tempts one towards the writings of the mysterious, Mr Rampo.