I have yet to see or experience anything like the grandeur of Yor. No joke.Welcome to a land where simple villagers work hard to avoid becoming the lunch special of the day for local dinosaurs. Kudos to the location scout for choosing to shoot in Istanbul, giving the film a very epic feel. At one point, a trans-dimensional vortex connects both Yor and Space Mutiny...Wow, a Yor vs Kalgon battle in the 'futuristic' basement is the only thing missing from giving this a full 10 rating.This romp is a blast because of 2 things:Reb Brown. He plays Yor as an earnest, heroic, good hearted savage who thinks as well as busts up cavemen chops. I noticed Yor's voice was dubbed and not actually Reb's. It DOES sound like the voice used to dub Ator's in Cave Dwellers (NOOOO!!). There are a few sparse moments where Reb's allowed to do his own shrieking or yelling. Perhaps the first time in movie history where Reb did NOT say 'Move! Move!'. Give it up to RB for doing his own running (well, a sort of running/prancing), forward tuck somersault rolls, and cutting up choice meats. It's no wonder Ka-Laa's totally smitten..she practically begging to go to Yor's cave.How much more heroic can Yor be when he even has his own theme song 'Yor's World'? To be fair, how about some love for Pag? The grizzled (yet loyal) fella can make fire, shoots a wicked bow, yet Yor gets all the spotlight! Plus, I totally endorse Pag's hemp policy - the most hilarious stinger of the movie.This film has taught me:1. A man can have many wives.2. Refrain from wearing highly flammable bandages near your flamesword.3. DON'T drink water from the sea.4. DO drink the blood of your enemies.5. If a babe is spread out in front of you and says "I have never belonged to another man", it's never a bad thing.6. Leave strange looking boxes alone!

It's great. It's TERRIBLE, and it's obviously a hacked together movie outta a TV show, but so? You have-Caveman Ray guns, bad rubber suited monsters, bad Star Wars type baddies, robots, fakey jungle settings, goofy UngaBunga stuff at the start, bad starlet acting, Reb Brown making Ahnold look like Brando.It's also a fun time to be had. It hits every cliché in the Conan genre flick right on the nose, and then some. It fails miserably on about every level save for you having an MSTK3 matinée any time you watch it.The Italians gotta be absolutely bonkers to make something like this. You've gotta be bonkers to watch it. And you'll thank me for seeing it if you haven't. It's a good time despite itself.** for the Cavemen ray guns and the rubber dinos.

What if Conan invaded Star Wars? The adventures of physical specimen Yor, a warrior with blond hair(Reb Brown, with a ridiculous wig)who desires to know where he came from, battling prehistoric creatures, nasty Neanderthals, and the Overlord(John Steiner), a cloaked menace with a Robot army(..they strikingly favor Darth Vador)who lives within the futuristic fortress hidden on an island.Along the journey, Ka-Laa(Corinne Clery, who is smokin' in her prehistoric garb), Yor's love-interest, and Pag(Luciano Pigozzi)whose village and people were killed by the savage Neanderthal tribe, join the hero on his quest to discover his identity..and the meaning behind his odd medallion necklace. Yor soon discovers one of his own kind, the lovely Roa(Ayshe Gul)who is worshipped by crazed nuclear rejects with bad burns throughout their bodies. Soon, Yor will have to evade them, with Roa in tow, before having to fight more Neanderthals. Soon, Yor and company(..minus Roa who becomes a casualty of the Neathderthal attack)will find a peaceful prehistoric tribe he saves from a dinosaur, before they are bombarded by laser fire. A running theme..wherever Yor goes, death and troubles follow. Pag finds an abandoned radio with voices communicating across it, perhaps proving that someone is behind the laser attacks. Soon he, along with Ka-Laa and Pag, will take a boat, specially made by the nearly distinct tribe just attacked by laser fire(..coming from the "radio people")and head for the island where the diabolical Overlord awaits. What Overlord desires is to create a hybrid man-robot(..or "robo-man"?)race, perfect for conquering the world using Yor and Ka-Laa to "spread the seed". But, Overlord wasn't preparing for a revolting mutiny of his own technical staff, tired of his tyranny ready for a new peaceful world to inhabit.Yes, as most will go out of their way to tell you, this film is just plain wacky, but so energetically presented, fast paced, with non-stop action. Margheretti's camera is in full zoom or constantly following the action, but never too annoying. The hokey nature of the film, blasted by most(..deservedly I guess), kind of stuck to me. This is the very definition of guilty pleasure. It plays, to me, like a comic book series with Yor going from one scenario into another, always fending off some fiendish group of people. Reb Brown is rather charisma-less, but the film constantly moves, moves, moves, I had a hard time really focusing on his presence on screen. The film isn't "Conan The Barbarian" or "Star Wars", but the audacity to mix the two completely different themes makes for a rather jaw-dropping experience. Seeing Pag, for instance, shooting a laser at a robot after firing his bow and arrow at a Neanderthal, not too long ago, is almost surreal.The film explains that a nuclear fall-out caused a return to prehistoric times, with "survivors" infected spread throughout, and those few uninfected on the island. Overlord kept his people in the belief that outside..on the mainland away from the island..everything is radioactive and poisonous. Yor and his band prove otherwise. It's absolutely an insane premise, but I couldn't resist it..it was like chocolate, or something. Just don't trust my feelings about it because seeing a space ship setting off for a prehistoric mainland is plain ga-ga. I'm even questioning my own taste this moment wondering why I enjoyed this crazy movie so much.

The first thing that needs to be said about this movie, is something that should, and shall, be said about all Reb Brown movies. REB BROWN RUNS LIKE A GIRL. There, I am glad I have got that out of the way. This is something that is apparent from the word go in this movie. Yor dramatically enters, and proceeds to skip across the desert, arm flailing about, and generally he is looking like he has never ran across rough terrain before. I sure this wasn't the intention. I'm sure, that the intention was for Yor to come across as quite adept and at home in this barren landscape. Equipped with nothing more than an axe, a loincloth and a fantastic theme tune, I sure he was supposed to appear to be some kind of natural hunter, at one with his surroundings and senses. But unfortunately, as I have said before, REB BROWN RUNS LIKE A GIRL.That said, everybody should be like Yor. Everybody should have their own them tune. A theme tune that not only can inspire you to achieve great things in your life, but can also inspire those around you to become better people, and put their absolute trust in you. Yor's theme tune is great. It does all that a personal theme tune should do. It spontaneously burst into play whenever he does something slightly random, like killing a giant bat and using it as a hang glider, or performing fantastic trapeze stunts with an ageing, fat caveman who has man-boobs. But more about those incidents later.Yor is a hunter. Quite what he hunts is a mystery to me. With this movie apparently set in Pre-historic times, surely everybody is a hunter, therefore making the term 'hunter' meaningless. Nonetheless, yor is a hunter. In this, his first and only movie, he quickly befriends the saggy old man, Pac, and a very clean cave woman called Kala. Together, they travel through prehistoric lands, accidentally destroying every single tribe, village or civillisation that they happen to come across. I mean all. Sorry to give that one away, but seriously. Yor is the cause of the destruction of no less than five tribes of people. Sometimes intensional, sometimes purely by accident. He is one of those people that you really would try your best to divert from your village. He is however, quite adept at killing mutated paper-mache dinosaurs. I say mutated, because they are quite simply like no dinosaurs I have ever seen, and react like no creatures I have ever heard of. The first being a cross between a stegosaurus and a triceretops, a tristegoceretops if you will. But after killing it, he does what every hunter would do, drinks it's blood, but as he so wisely puts it, "drinking the blood of your enemy makes you stronger". Then there is the giant bat. The most useful creature in his entire world. Not only does it fly past at just the right time, but this creature conveniently goes into instant rigour Mortis, even before it hits the ground. This allows Yor to use the said bat as a hang glider to fly into a cave, rescue Kala, and you guessed it, entirely wipe out the tribe that kidnapped her. Fantastic stuff.This is a very interesting world, it has to be said.There are a few things that can be learnt from this movie. the first being you can make absolutely anything out of straw. Straw seems to be the most versatile substance in the entire world. Pac's bow and arrows are made from it, villages are entirely made from it, they even sail a boat made from straw. Which bring me to my next learning point, if you are planning to sail to a place called 'The island of Storms', don't do it in a straw boat. That really is just asking for trouble.But it is at the island of storms that the movie takes an unexpected twist (at least it would be if the blurb on the back of the video box din't tell you the entire plot of the movie). The movie gets invaded by a completely different movie altogether. But not just any movie, it gets invaded by a cheap remake of Star Wars. Led by the 'Overlord' who is a dead ringer for the Emperor, and his team of robots, who are dead ringers for Darth Vader, they capture Yor and demand to take over the movie. Despite futile efforts to resist, Yor is eventually forced to submit to there demands and pick up his blaster rifle to continue the battle. Something which he learns to use confidently in a very short space of time. It is a skill he uses efficiently in his other movie, Space MUtiny, where he also RUNS LIKE A GIRL, SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL and generally acts ALL GIRLIE LIKE.