The Sex Pistols had it right. Never Trust a Hippy. A spoiled hippie chick and her far out boyfriend give LSD to her former actress stepmom (Lana Turner) in an attempt to kill her and gain her inheritance. "The Big Cube" is a laughably bad psychedelic freakout of a movie that depicts the dangers of drugs, hippies, and the lack of good roles for actresses in their 40s. The film features ludicrously awful dialogue, such as:Johnny: Do you know you really turn me on? Girl: Since when? Johnny: Since now. I belong to "The Now Generation."or Butler: Anything else you wish? Bibi: There might be, if you were 80 years younger, you sexy thing.orBibi: Sweetness, baby. Float with the tide, that's my bag. This is a pop art world, baby!orJohnny: I know a new place. The club, The Trip. Girl: Does it swing? Johnny: Swing? It wails!This movie does not wail, but it does fall into that ignominious category of so-bad-it's-good, so if you're in the mood to watch classic Hollywood royalty slum, hear unintentionally hilarious dialogue, and see some of the silliest drug trip sequences committed to film, you might enjoy "The Big Cube.

As a huge Lana Turner fan, I had avoided this film, as I had heard and read bad things about it. But the interesting thing about having low expectations is being pleasantly surprised. This film, having Lana married to millionaire Dan O'Herlihy and being stepmother to his daughter and having control of his money and her life (and her love life!) after he dies, isn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it keeps one's interest and keeps you guessing all the way through it, with elements similar to Lana's usual melodramatic movies. When her stepdaughter and lover want the money coming to her from daddy's will, they take drastic measures. Costarring good actors Richard Egan and George Chakiris, this is definitely a different type of Lana Turner film with its 1970s feel and groove and use of the big cube, but I wouldn't necessarily call it an embarrassment for Lana; it certainly entertains. Some may call it camp or unintentionally funny. But its dialogue and acting didn't seem to me to be overblown or extreme; it seems more of a state-of-mind film, with Lana being tortured psychologically. I can just imagine a 70s audience watching this and doing who knows what at the same time. I would definitely watch this again, unlike Bittersweet Love, another Lana film I just discovered. If you come across this on Turner Classic Movies, watch and enjoy this less-than-classic but otherwise entertaining Lana Turner film.

When cineastes look back at Hollywood's second "Golden Age" that started in the late 60's, it's a cinch they're remembering films like "Rosemary's Baby" and "Bonnie & Clyde" while willfully blocking out mind-blowing atrocities like "The Big Cube." Surely the late 60's must have been a weird time for fading glamour queens if Jennifer Jones ("Angel, Angel, Down We Go"), Eleanor Parker ("Eye of the Cat") and, in this mess, Lana Turner, felt the need to debase themselves in inferior product for the sake of a paycheck. Was it ego? Desperation? Perhaps without those fatherly moguls overseeing every step of their careers, these ladies had no idea of what a decent script looked like. What is certain in Lana Turner's case is that without a strong director at the helm, she is incapable of giving a performance at all. She is so absolutely terrible in "The Big Cube" that I have a hard time associating her with the actress who dazzled in "The Postman Always Rings Twice." What's most embarrassing is that she can't even play what she is…a bad actress. Cast here as Adriana Roman, darling of the stage, Turner (who looks like she starved herself for the role and is shot through heavy gauze) pops her eyes and gives outlandishly artificial readings of equally outlandish dialog. Example: Adriana- (speaking of her stepdaughter) "The resemblance is remarkable. We even look alike!" That sentence makes no sense! To cut her some slack, she IS holding a drink during the scene, so perhaps she is so drunk she forgot that the word resemblance actually means to look like someone.Turner would win prizes for her cartoonish acting if she wasn't trumped in every scene by the almost superhuman ineptness of one Karin Mossberg. A woman of great beauty whose face is allergic to expression and whose accent and odd vocal emphasis makes for one dicey ingénue.Not to be outdone, Academy Award winner George Chakiris (who, as the villain, appears to have been inspired by Mighty Mouse's Oil Can Harry) thoroughly embarrasses himself throughout, but especially in a big drug freak-out scene. I guess the reason that Pamela Rodgers' campy, ditzy act comes off so well is that she doesn't even try to act. She seems to know she's wading hip-deep in crap and gives the film the level of performance it deserves.Shot in the overlit, circus color style of a Russ Meyer film, "The Big Cube" does offer the pleasurable fascination of getting a glimpse at the dances, hairstyles, fashion and architecture (not to mention the derisible slang) of an era so over the top that Lady Gaga looks tame in comparison.

Lana Turner on an acid trip - a bizarre thought, but this low-budget Mexican production, "The Big Cube," is about just that - you know, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," the "Sugar Shack" - LSD. And what a bizarre trip it is for all involved.Turner plays a great theater star, Adriana Roman, who retires to marry Charles Winthrop (Dan O'Herlihy) and comes up against his angry daughter Lisa (Karin Mossberg). No one explains why O'Herlihy's daughter has some sort of foreign accent. Everyone else is American. Anyway, Lisa falls for a sleaze drug dealer and soon to be ex-medical student (George Chakiris) who is after her money. When O'Herlihy dies in a boating accident, the Chakiris character hints to Lisa that they can hurry along the inheritance by - and this is really not clear - either driving Adriana nuts with LSD or using it to kill her. It falls to the playwright with whom Adriana has worked (Richard Egan) to rescue her from the clutches of these two connivers.The plot is beyond muddled. One day Lisa hates her stepmother, and then the next day they're best buddies. One day Adriana has an acid trip while in a car, and Lisa and her boyfriend take her to a cliff, presumably to throw her over, and Adriana gets away from them and doesn't die. The next day, Adriana goes on another acid trip and tries to throw herself out a window, and Lisa saves her. Why did she save her when she tried to kill her the day before? It's a mess.The movie is filled with psychedelic parties and horrible acting, particularly from Mossberg, Pamela Rodgers, Lisa's friend, and Carlos East, who plays an overly made-up artist named Lalo.Turner, approaching 50, does her "Portrait in Black," "Imitation of Life" acting number wearing some horrific wigs. With a simple upswept hairdo, those enormous blue eyes, and petite figure, she's quite beautiful and glamorous, though dressed like she's supposed to be 18; with her hair down, she's a way over the hill ingénue; and with those gargoyle wigs, she looks just plain awful. Her closeups are shot through linoleum. I hate that older beautiful classic film stars had so few alternatives that they turned to these trash movies, but many did.Campy though not on the camp level of a "Valley of the Dolls" or another Lana Turner film, "Portrait in Black" but some might find it fun. It was fun, but also a little sad for those who enjoyed Lana in "Slightly Dangerous," "Green Dolphin Street," and the Ross Hunter glossy melodramas of the '50s.