As part of a project are sent to a place called Littletown to investigate and research a supposedly deceased German (and possible Nazi) ex-patriot rocket scientist, named Frederick Bartholomew who it seems was supposedly responsible for the V2 rocket before embarking on a murderous rampage slaying all who he worked with in his final days spent here in America. In Honor of this achievement our project student group have got to make replicas of the rockets whilst at that location. A trio of this select members wind up stumbling across a pair of demented brothers, one, Mabuser is an unlicensed doctor, who's become mentally unhinged due to being convince destructive parasites have infested his brain, while his stuttering teenage brother Gary, is a shy and lonely psychopath with a thing for Tarot cards and concealed necrophiliac tendencies. All the while their father prowls the nights' lonely highways, dressed in one of his previous victims...as of all things Richard Nixon.Starts with porno music and the worst title set you will ever see in a film. Next thing you know a hot girl in itty bitty shorts and nearly non-existent top is moving stuff around. Door opens and a sneaker appears....ugh false alarm. But she's too hot to kill just yet.At least until the itty bitty pants come off.The movie sucks. Too slow and not very compelling.

Horror House on Highway Five (1985) 1/2 (out of 4) A bunch of teenagers (played by people in their 30s) are heading down the highway when they come under attack by a maniac wearing an oh-so-not-scary Richard Nixon mask. HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE is a perfect example of someone throwing together an ultra cheap slasher to try and cash in on the craze that was sweeping horror fans during this period. I'm not sure how much of a theatrical release this thing got and I'm not sure if writer-director Richard Casey got his money back but I think fans of the bad might want to check this thing out. I say that because I've seen some incredibly bad slashers in my day but this here has to be one of the worst. I'm really not sure what the director was trying to do other than possibly make money but it's clear that it was amateur night in regards to pretty much everything. The screenplay really doesn't tell us anything and for 99% of the running time I had very little idea what was going on other than this nut killing people. Even the ending makes very little sense but I guess they were just trying to deliver some sort of final twist. I'm also not certain what's up with the editing but it's incredibly poor and once you see it you're certainly not going to forget it. Needless to say, the performances are all pretty bad as is the music score, special effects and the worthless death scenes. I'm also curious as to why they selected a Nixon mask because it's certainly not scary and you can't help but laugh whenever it's on screen. The entire movie is a big flat miss but if you enjoy bad movies then you might get a few laughs out of it. Sadly, the thing is way too slow and boring to enter the so bad it's good genre.

~Spoiler~ When you've seen as many movies as I have, it's hard to pick one contender for "Worst Movie Ever." I always thought The Woodchipper Massacre held the title. I now think there's a new king in town. Horror House on Highway 5 could really be the worst movie ever. Let me try to explain what little plot it had. There's a Nazi doctor living in Littletown, USA who has a fetish for Richard Nixon and commits random acts of senseless violence whilst wearing a Tricky Dick mask. He has two sons who help him...I think. One son is a retard who falls in love with his victims. The other thinks he is a doctor and that wormy parasites are eating his brain. There is also a hammy teacher who sends his students to Littletown to research the mad doctor and his bottle rocket experiments. What the hell am I talking about? I'm really at a loss for words when reviewing this epic. There's one aspect that completely blows my mind. There are many scenes where characters are walking around in the dark and they hear a "whooshing" sound. The next thing that follows is the character dripping blood. I really have no idea what effect the filmmaker was trying to capture. Was the Nixon character throwing knives? Was Ulli Lommel's Boogeyman hanging around the set? I don't know. The effect obviously didn't work. And neither does the entire movie. Avoid like your life depended on it.

To be labelled as the most bizarrely bewildering title of all slasher movies may not seem like much of a memorable claim. But when you consider the fact that the forerunner is up against such twisted beasts as Blood Harvest, Don't Open 'til Christmas, Pieces, Bloodbeat and the almost extra terrestrial A Day of Judgement, then you begin to realise how tough a challenge it really is. When it comes to leaving you dumbfounded and gasping at the screen - jaw dropped quicker than if you just received a shattering right hook from Mike Tyson – then Horror House on Highway Five has crossed the finish line while the others are still tying up their shoe-laces. A true, true masterpiece of brain-numbing confusion, Highway Five is about as anormalistic as any movie could ever possibly achieve to be inside this solar system. Some of the strange images that will appear on your screen over the 90 minute runtime include: A homicidal maniac in a Richard Nixon mask that may well be a dead scientist and is played by an actor named Ronald Reagan (seriously!). Then there are the two demented kidnappers - one of them believing that his brain is being destroyed by parasites, while the other acts equally like the mushrooms that he ate with his fried breakfast were certainly those of the 'magic' variety. And how could I forget the gang of college half wits who have the intelligence of an autistic bullfrog on crack. Then there's the wacky soundtrack that includes everything from St Peppers-era Beatles style trip-rock to Dion and the Belmonts-type doo-wop? A college class investigating the creation of the V2 rocket head out to a small town (brilliantly titled 'Little Town') where it was believed that the German scientist behind the invention spent his final days in America. Legend dictates that before his disappearance, Frederick Bartholomew became a murderous psychopath and began killing off the people that he worked with. One young student - Sally Smith - is given the task of interviewing two of the scientist's former associates, the crazed Dr. Mabuser and his stuttering sidekick Gary. Meanwhile a maniac dressed as Tricky Dicky is heading along Highway 5 bumping off anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with him. Will the classmates escape the secluded town alive? Is that really Richard Nixon trying to murder his way back into the White House? All the answers lie behind the front door of the horror house on highway 5… If anything, Richard Casey's debut certainly proves that there are some strange people inhabiting this planet and a fair majority of them were working on the set of this feature circa 1985. You'd think that at some point during the long months of pre and post production at least one member of the cast or crew would have said, "Hold on a second, isn't this all just a little far-fetched?" But no, it seems that the copious amounts of LSD that were handed out as inspirational materials throughout the writing of the screenplay were still in abundance during the shoot. There's really no other way to explain occurrences such as: The second victim throwing herself through a glass coffee table for *no* reason whatsoever, whilst the killer was hot on his heels behind her. It was only moments earlier that she had been pulling strange faces at herself in the mirror; - the kind of thing that you would do if you had been in swallowing LSD for the past twenty-four hours. It may also be the real truth behind Mike and Louise's cool attitude when they find a disembowelled cat mysteriously dumped in the back of their van. If you were hallucinating consistently, then you'd expect to see that kind of thing, surely? Oh and before I forget, Dr. Mabuser seems to believe that his brain is being munched by maggots – need I say more?!? The dramatics are exactly what you've come to expect from zero budget slasher movies. You know, the kind of performances that make your children's high school play look like One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest part deux. There's one starlet that really gave new meaning to the word 'wooden' – she was that bad I reckon that she'd make the Rain Forest look like it was made of Lego. The highlight of her brief performance came as she was being murdered by the former president. With the enthusiasm of a dry roasted peanut she yelped, "Relax just try to put your mind at ease…" Yeah right! Don't expect to see her popping up in any other motion pictures any time soon.This does at least try in many ways to add a little spice to the hack and slash cycle. Alongside the traditional masked maniac, there's at least three other nut jobs to keep you interested and there's even a hint at the supernatural that's never completely followed through. It's also worth noting that Richard Casey didn't go for that old slasher chestnut of having a cast full of pretty boys and page 3 girls to dismember. Instead most of the body count is pretty average in the looks department, except for maybe the final girl who was cute if not breathtakingly beautiful. Oh yeah and a word of advice to all T&A fans, there's nothing but dungarees and double knits going on here. You've more chance of seeing forbidden flesh on an episode of sesame street than you have anywhere in this fully wrapped splatter flick.My conclusion is that Highway Five was either invaded by otherworldly beings on set, was intended as a spoof, or is simply a misunderstood masterpiece. One thing is for certain however, for all its nonsensical frolics and wayward attempts at terror, it sure makes a fine advertisement for watching the telly