I was kind of glad when the vampire looked as confused as I did when the dance troupe started an impromptu dance routine in order to keep him away. It didn't look so much like a dance routine than a bunch of people being attacked by invisible bees. I suppose the vampire couldn't really comment on the randomness of this situation as what he was up to didn't make much sense either. This crap vampire is resident in a creepy theatre due to some sort of curse, and despite repeated warnings from his equally cursed caretaker, a hyperactive dance troupe lead by an idiotic jerk all move in. You know these types, there's the sarcastic cute one, the guy trying to get into his girlfriends tights, the openly gay guy, the really ambitious lesbian who tries it on with everyone, and the leading lady, who of course is the reincarnation of the woman who ended up getting the vampire guy cursed in the first place. What starts out like a semi-coherent version of vampire film quickly turns mental when the vampire keeps threatening people with a huge pitchfork - but never actually sticking anyone with it. He also does a lot of threatening with his teeth, but I'm pretty sure no one even ended up being bitten! Daftest of all was his coffin that he used to drag people through to another dimension, where he kept a load of vampire women chained up. They never bit anyone either.No, daftest of all is that the vampire left printed instruction on a painting on how to kill him, and then when they tried to kill him, it looked like he just keeled over of a heart attack. This is the kind of daft crap I signed up for in the first place. Of course, our dance troupe also through in an improvised 'cleaning' dance sequence at the start too, and the whole thing is rather sensual for such an old film. So if you like to watch a lot of young women dance around in their underwear, this is the film for you. Oh, and this film must win some award for the greatest amount of people startled by a cat!

Having seen the other three titles in what is considered the early Italian Vampire Quartet (Slaughter Of The Vampires, Playgirls and the Vampire, Vampire and The Ballerina) - I went out of my way to track this one down. "Slaughter" is a masterpiece of the genre, while "Ballerina" and "Playgirls" feature some silly shenanigans involving girls dancing, prancing, and fleeing in see-through nightgowns but also some stylish shots and creepy atmosphere - but this one offers very little in the entertainment department and is an overall goofy and frivolous effort. It is a very amateurishly made film involving a group of dancers who decide to perform at an old run down theater inhabited by a vampire and his servant. The "count" in this is hardly ominous, and there are many scenes of the troupe dancing, either at their own will or under force by the Count. It is notable for being one of the first (if not THE first) horror film to feature lesbianism but other than that this bloodless vampire effort will put you to sleep.

When a dance troupe begins rehearsing in an opera house that's been closed for many years, Stefano, an aristocratic vampire in black tie & tails, suddenly appears and, whaddaya know, the lead dancer's a dead ringer for his lost love. That horror cliché gets turned on its head, however, because this bloodsucker lusts only for revenge on the adulteress who buried him alive centuries before. There's lots of neck-biting but no blood as the dapper demon chases the scantily-clad chorines through corridors and catacombs when he's not poking them with a pitchfork or making them dance in a trance. Stefano also tries feeding a few to his vampire brides chained up in the dungeon before he's finally brought to heel by having his portrait burned and face torched. Most of the shapely babes run around in baby-doll pajamas and there's even some lesbianism in this no-budget nightmare from director Renato Polselli, a delightfully prurient "auteur" who's also got DELIRIUM, THE TRUTH ACCORDING TO Satan, and REVELATIONS OF A PSYCHIATRIST ON THE WORLD OF SEXUAL PERVERSION to answer for. Stefano looks a bit like Christopher Lee when he hisses or laughs maniacally and the movie's even got a few atmospheric moments thanks to the black & white photography and spooky old opera house. Mexican monster movies have nothing on Italy's "Golden Age of Horror" when it comes to celluloid insanity of the mind-boggling kind, let me tell you.