Malarkey from cobbled footage of three films (the first discarded and unfinished but actually my favorite of the three!) is continuity hell, truly looking like a piecemeal project, quite the editing botch-job. God and Satan debate over who gets the souls of the characters contained in three separate tales. The night train of the title features rejects from Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo doing a song-and-breakdance while the Great Debate occurs in a different compartment. The first deals with poor John Philip Law seemingly condemned to a rather insignificant slasher film set in an asylum as Richard Moll, of all people, is a henchman with an active participation in severing the body parts of female victims Law picks up in bars (Law is the unfortunate "patient" placed under hypnosis in the institution, ordered to do the bidding of the administrator who runs the place!), with the bits and pieces sold black market! This has lots of naked victims strapped and bound to hospital gurneys and a surprising amount of bloodletting. It is horrendously edited, though, and barely makes sense beyond the initial premise. The second film is just a laughable "death game" competition where a select group participate in a series of challenges where the end result for the unlucky loser is a rather unpleasant demise (the electric shock gag had me in ribbons, not to mention, the dangerous fly the size of a man's hand; the final game has the unfortunate loser have a 250 pound dumbbell dropped on their head, swinging around with the rope steadily cut by a saw). Again, this one has excerpts from another movie thrown together and barely cohesive (well, not cohesive at all), but the girl that is the object of the affections of her "handler" and a boyfriend that meets her while she's shagging a college pal in a dorm gets full frontal and out of her clothes so it has that going for it. The third tale is a dull demonic affair where Satan himself (I thought we had already established who that is, but I digress…), in the guise of the same young Teen Idol looks of a devious chap named Olivier over several wars (as a Nazi, he is recognized by a Jewish concentration camp survivor) who could have been Damien from the Omen movies as a twenty-something. Claymation effects involving demons are applied (considered by many to be hilariously lame), including a sequence where minions from hell reach for the heroine who will be chosen to do battle against God's greatest adversary. Richard Moll is the heroine's atheist hubby, a media figure with a publication on how "God is dead", and whose own soul is in jeopardy. Her hack job supposedly to Satan on an operating table is pure Grand Guignol.The conversations between God and Satan on the train, following (or just before) the jiving kids and their singing for the camera directly at us further add a thick layer of Velveeta to the already rubbish stitch-job anthology strung together with bailey wire, duck tape, and Elmer's glue. Not without its moments, but perhaps the three movies should have been left well enough alone (maybe, though, without Night Train they never would have seen the light of day or had been remotely provided the platform or promotion given here). I imagine this would make the ideal double header with A Night to Dismember. The makeup effects (a head explodes blood all over a girl he's making out with thanks to the runaway fly; another body gradually deteriorates during an electric shock) are rather low budget misfires, practical effects quite pitifully performed. There's even an unfortunate train miniature substituting the real thing. For lovers of rancid cinema.

God and Satan are on board a train and discuss the fate of three individuals. In the first story, "The Case of Harry Billings", a man is kidnapped and taken to an insane asylum where he is put under hypnosis and lures victims to be tortured and murdered as part of an organ-harvesting operation. The second story, "The Case of Gretta Connors", entails two young lovers who become involved in a sinister cult of people fascinated with death. The final story "The Case of Claire Hansen" involves an apprentice to the Devil who is out to destroy mankind and a group of immortals who are out to stop him.If you are a fan of bad horror movies, you'll know that Night Train to Terror is actually pieced together from three other films:Cataclysm (1980) Death Wish Club (1983) Scream Your Head Off (unfinished)And believe it or not footage from this film was also later edited into Marilyn Alive and Behind Bars (1992). The movie was written by an academy award winning writer!The film was given a limited release theatrically by Visto International Inc. in 1985.[1] The film received poor reviews and less than spectacular box office attraction.The film was given its first official Bluray and DVD release in October 2013 by Vinegar Syndrome. Extras for the film include the full-length version of Greta (aka Death Wish Club), an interview with producer/director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen, an interview with assistant editor Wayne Schmidt, and a commentary track by The Hysteria Continues.The film is often compared to the likes of Plan 9 From Outer Space due to its bad dialogue, poor editing, and numerous continuity errors.It is truly Ed Wood if Ed Wood had lived! I'm giving it a 10 for it's bizarre-ness. If left to rate on the content, it would get a one.

So Byron Yordan says to his uncle Philip one day "uncle Philip, me and some friends would like to do an MTV video but we have no talent and no idea, how can we make an MTV video uncle Philip?" Or groveling to that effect. To which Oscar winning script writer uncle Philip Yordan replies "why I know just the antidote to cure your ails, we'll grab three movies on which I recently worked ("Cataclysm", "Death Wish Club" and "Scream Your Head Off" which we never finished) and get old mate John Carr to graft them together like an elephant trunk onto a mouse. Then we'll edit you and your friends into the story as musicians travelling aboard the "Night Train To Terror".And now you're up to date. Tony Giorgio and Ferdy Mayne play Satan and God respectively riding aboard the night train, on which said rock band mince about in Flashdance garb singing their signature tune ("Everybody's Got Something to Do, Everybody But You") while Giorgio and Mayne review a series of vignettes debating whether the characters should be acquitted to heaven or hell for their deeds. Essentially previews the three aforementioned movies, conjoining them for the absolute mothership of all horror anthologies. Lashings of sadism, nudity, an abattoir-sized load of body parts (no exaggeration) and nonsensical editing that you absolutely have to see before you depart this mortal coil.John Philip Law is the mind programmed maniac who lures women to an asylum where Richard Moll lies in wait, hacksaw at the ready in the unfinished "Scream Your Head Off" while in "Death Wish Club" a misguided porn star is born and then inducted along with her smitten boyfriend into death defying games that test the mettle of brave participants - this one is pretty surreal with head-crushing, brain-frying gore galore. The final vignette is extracted from "The Omen" inspired "Cataclysm" starring Cameron Mitchell, Marc Lawrence and Faith Clift as God's desperate rearguard against Satan and his claymation army. It's well photographed but comes off the worst of the trio due to the clumsy truncation. Overall this anthology's construction is as ghastly as the special effects it previews and needs to be witnessed to be fully appreciated.

this crazy 1985 movie that starts with a "Let's Get Physical" style popmusic video, then goes to God and the Devil sitting on a train and arguing over souls (?!). So then there are several anthology-style segments, which seem like unfinished home movies that someone strung together. Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) appears in two segments, one as a mad butcher and in the other as an author who writes a book stating that God is Dead.The craziest interludes (and that's saying a lot!) involve several stop-motion animated monster segments! None of which seem related to anything else in the movie - a giant killer wasp, a demon that pops out of the ground and pulls someone to Hell - they just pop up out of nowhere and then vanish. Then the cheezy music video keeps appearing, with ugly people in spandex jumping around...just absolutely awful, awful, and inexplicable.