"Menu" is an American 10-minute live action short film from 1933, so this one will have its 85th anniversary next year already. The names of director Grinde and writer Smith will certainly not be to familiar to most, but this is the film that got 2-time Academy Award winner Pete Smith his very first of many Oscar nominations. He was the producer and narrator here. This film is about cooking as the title already gives away. We have a housewife here preparing the perfect meal that he husband can eat despite his tummy troubles. The cast isn't two shabby, two people with a star on the Walk of fame including a National Board of Review winner and an Oscar nominee. But the project is just too ridiculous. The comedy by the narrator while we see her prepare the duck is not funny and even if you love cooking (more than I do), there's really no point in seeing this one here. The Oscar nomination was way too much and it lost to a geography/travel documentary film and it would have been way worse even if it had taken home the crown. I may be a bit biased here as a vegetarian too, but this really wasn't a convincing work. Most production values are pretty low and the fact that it is in color (surprisingly given its time) does not make it a better watch either. Huge thumbs-down.

. . . as the reign began for our most beloved leader, Franklin Delano Roosevelt (aka, FDR), who came into office proclaiming his Art of the New Deal (Social Security and Regulation for the Fat Cat One Per Centers who were then destroying America's workers with their job-killing Corrupt Capitalism). Now, with Friday's swear-in for Red Commie KGB operative, the buffoon D.J. Rump as the U.S. Game Show Host-in-Chief, every American should watch MENU again in order to learn how to stuff a duck when that Blessed Day upon which Rump's goose is cooked finally arrives. It's possible, of course, that the new American Czar Vlad "Mad Dog" Putin may decide to cut his losses, and use his Puppet Rump to nuke ALL of our American and NATO military bases at 1 PM the Day After Tomorrow. As the media has been warning for months, the Racist U.S. Constitution Suicide Pact leaves NO time for anyone to conduct sanity tests, impeachment hearings, or high treason trials during the FOUR MINUTES it takes for a "Destroy America!" tweet to morph from the mind of a Megalomaniac Tool to nukes taking flight. Thanks to the Racist Electoral College (concocted by Confederate Slave Rapists to insure that they could thwart Democratic Elections whenever they wished--the Racist Party has swiped FIVE elections from the people already, while the People's Party has yet to hijack ANY election!) and an irrational minority of Red Commie Russian Red State enablers (sharing a very similar mindset with the people of Russia itself, who HAD Democracy, but preferred and chose to live under Satan's Thumb, proving that they cannot be trusted to have a nation of their own!), we ALL may be as dead at Pete Smith's duck by the time you read this. But, as they say, Mass Delusions have consequences, and we're all better off Dead than Red, anyway. So, Pete, Bottoms up, wherever you are Today!

" . . . which makes it a dead duck." So observes Pete Smith, with his trademark Snarkiness, at one juncture in this cooking fantasy. If MENU's main character, John Xavier Omsk, added his name up for Scrabble value, it would total a sizable 40 points. (My full name has the same number of letters, but yields only half as many points.) Perhaps more interesting to word game players (at least those of grandpa's or great-grandpa's generation) is that one of the notable clues for vintage crossword puzzles plays John's wife, Mrs. Omsk. Yep, Una Merkel (as in 37 Down: Actress _ _ _ Merkel) makes an appearance here as a particularly ditsy blonde. Referred to by narrator Smith as "this dizzy dame," Una tries to crack open an egg with a metal nutcracker! Once chef Luis Alberni pops into the scene like some sort of kitchen genii, things settle down into two actual recipes being given and prepared: one for dressing (as in, how to stuff a duck), and the other for making baked apples (no, you cannot just set an apple on the sidewalk in the summer--I suppose you actually COULD, but it probably would not taste as good as these ones seen on the screen).

I love these little "one reel wonders" that TCM throws in at the end of their regularly scheduled movies as filler till the next movie comes on. I caught this one at the end of Sunrise, during TCM's 31 Days of Oscar. Seems this little 1933 one-reeler was nominated for Best Short Subject.It's very amusing. An early technicolor about a man with indigestion, thanks to a wife who's a klutzenheimer in the kitchen. Una Merkel plays the dippy wife -- she utters about 3 words but is told by the unseen narrator that he's the only one allowed to talk! The narrator acts as an omnipotent overseer, putting broken eggs and spilled condiments back together again by the magic of reverse-action filming. He also brings in a chef in a puff of smoke, to come to the housewife's rescue. We are then treated to a mini-cooking show, with instructions on how to prepare stuffed duck and baked apples. It's quite droll, with the narrator getting off such funny zingers as: "Cook the stuffing for 15 minutes, for that perfect taste that you love to burp up later." "Now clutch the apple firmly so it will realize the futility of any resistance." Very funny and amusing. Too bad there's no way to actually know when this will be on again. I don't think TCM lists its one-reel wonders in its programming guide, which is too bad. Well, if you run across "The Menu" at the end of your regularly scheduled program, be sure to stick around and watch it. I think you'll enjoy it!