Finally, a film that knows what it's audience wants! I went into this picture back in '78 when it was released and it was mere minutes after entering that I was walking right back out the theatre doors, and not in a security guards arms either. Here's how it happened, I was in my seat just as the film was starting and it began with some old man in a cloak and some candles or something, I don't really know because I was focusing on taking my pants off without the usher noticing. Then bam! Right on the screen a naked woman is tied to a table with her sweater-hogs hanging right out! Then the old dude starts groping her, and just when I thought it couldn't get any better that cinematic genius, Carlos Puerto, gave the audience a close- up of her smooth naked "cat". Instantly gratified I finished all over the seat in front of me and made my way for the lobby where I ate 5 bags of candy corn then went home to sleep. I would have stayed for the rest of the film, but with an intro that spectacular there's no way they could have topped it. In the end I only have three words to say about Satan's Blood: What. A. Masterpiece.

"Escalofrio", a.k.a. "Don't Panic", a.k.a. "Satan's Blood" was made at a time in Spain when ratings restrictions had become more lax, so filmmakers were quick to capitalize on this. While this particular movie never received an American theatrical release, it did get released on tape under those alternate titles. Now we can enjoy it on DVD for the shameless smut it is. It's spiced up with so much delectable nudity and sex (including one memorable moment of group sex!) that a trash fan can't help but like it, and its writing is so insane as to be delicious.A couple named Andres (Jose Maria Guillen) and Ana (Mariana Karr) are on an outing, with their dog in tow, when a stranger, Bruno (Angel Aranda) and his wife Berta (Sandra Alberti) confront them, Bruno claiming that they're old college buddies. Despite the fact that Andres just can't remember Bruno, and that his memories don't jibe with Bruno's, he and Ana willingly go along with Bruno and Berta to their isolated country mansion, where matters of the occult, including the use of a ouija board, await them."Satan's Blood" will have the viewer likely laughing in appreciation, at least if they are anything like this viewer. It's just such a hoot, with some graphic bits of violent business, a respectably creepy enough atmosphere, and good music by Librado Pastor. The little doll is a good touch. The movie is mainly worth watching for all the bare skin; one bathroom scene is fun to watch, and Alberti *literally* has a smoking hot body in this thing. From start to finish, this is endlessly entertaining stuff, with oddball characters on the fringes of the action, such as a would be rapist, an ominous gate keeper, and a suspicious doctor.Andres and Ana act like so many other dumb horror movie characters, refraining from getting out while the getting is good, which may infuriate some people watching, but for others, seeing these two dolts just stick around and stick around becomes repetitive enough to be a riot. Fans of Euro trash horror are well advised to give this one a look.Trivia note: Juan Piquer Simon, the man who gave us such classics as "Pieces" and "Slugs", is the art director, executive producer, and (uncredited) co-director. While watching, keep an eye out for a poster of "Star Wars"!Eight out of 10.

Throughout my many years as an avid horror fanatic, I encountered numerous movies dealing with devil worshipers & satanic cults, and therefore I also assumed I had already heard every name, title and form of address for the "character" of Satan. Wrong again, because in this underrated gem of 70's Spanish horror, there's a scene in which the speaker summons good 'ol Lucifer using a whole bunch of new, hugely offensive and exhilarating names, including Prince of Fornication, Master of Hate, Serpent of Genesis, Prince of Necrophilia, Father of Incest and High Master of the Black Arts. Other than being a surprisingly eloquent film, "Satan's Blood" is an atmospheric and ultra-sleazy highlight of European (more particularly Spanish) cult cinema. The plot is obviously simplistic and severely lacking logic as well as plausibility, but the film offers a continuous spitfire of eerie images, nudity that is simultaneously erotic and gratuitous, gore and genuinely morbid scenery. When the young newlyweds Andres and Ana are bored to death on a regular Saturday afternoon, they decide to take their dog out for a drive in the city. Waiting at a stoplight they're contacted by another couple of whom the husband claims to know Andres from high school, even though the latter doesn't remember him at all. Andres and Ana reluctantly follow the couple to their secluded mansion in the countryside where they all join in sinister Ouija-board games, dangerous acts of seduction, a bit of inappropriate cannibalism and – of course – some good old satanic orgies. The couple behaves increasingly mysterious and obtrusive, but a heavy thunderstorm and car trouble prevent Andres & Ana from leaving. And even when they manage to get out of the house, they appear to have entered an inescapable spiral of satanic evil. "Satan's Blood" is an above average; I even daresay GOOD film despite the occasionally tedious moments and the overload of sex footage that constantly interrupts the suspense. A handful of sequences are downright creepy, notably the ones with the uncanny porcelain doll, and the fate of poor pretty Blackie is truly harrowing. The last 5 to 10 minutes are really terrific, full of gore and loaded with disturbance, repulsiveness and shock value. Massive recommendation for fans of 70's exploitation or Euro-cult horror in general.On a slightly less important note, the DVD version of "Satan's Blood" I watched even provides a bit of hilarity, as the subtitle track was clearly handled very unprofessionally. Sometimes there are English subtitles without there even are dialogs and most of the time the translations are just indisputably incorrect. For example, Andres clearly states he works as a mechanic but at the same time the subtitles claim he's a lawyer.

SATAN'S BLOOD is a decent slice of obscure Spanish sexploitation. Tons of nudity (including plenty o' full-frontal) and a bit o' gore (and a relatively swift run-time) and a few actually creep scenes make SATAN'S BLOOD a pretty solid entry of 70's Euro-sleaze...A young couple is chillin' around town with their dog when another couple stops them and invites them back to their crib. The husband of the "approaching" couple claims to have known the husband of the "chillin'" couple from back in college - but this "friendship" is totally lost on chill-guy - he's drawin' a complete blank and doesn't recall the guy at all. Regardless - both couples head back to the other couple's house (which turns out to be a castle-like mansion in the middle of nowhere...) and before ya know it - their playin' with Ouija boards and partaking in Satanic orgies. The chill couple is freaked by the whole thing and wants to leave, but various "obstacles" prevent their escape...Although there are a few brief atmospheric and creepy scenes (a few in particular involving a bugged-out looking porcelain doll...) - SATAN'S BLOOD is pretty much just a fun, sleazy, Satanic sexploiter that should satisfy fans of cheezy violence and gratuitous nudity. Nothing extremely notable about the film, but a fun way to kill some time, and the film clocks in right around 70 minutes or so - so it's not boring or too drawn-out. Decent end scene, too...7/10