It would be reasonable to assume "Death Times Five" might attempt to explain why creepy horror movie children feel the need to murder, maim, and generally be little terrors that keep us "adults" second guessing the true intents of kids everywhere. Unfortunately, it never really does - it doesn't explain a lot of anything really - but what it does do is deliver a group of five psychologically disturbed children participating in a range of creative homicides that might please fans of this specific sub-genre, depending on their standards of quality.Like the classic "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" which was made in the same year, "Devil Times Five" revolves around a group of unsuspecting characters falling prey to a bunch of crazy people out in the sticks. Those crazy people just happen to be a little younger and a little less redneck, but the parallels are definitely apparent. Both films are low budget, genuinely disturbing, and managed to push the limit of their subject matter for their time. Where the comparison ends is that TCM was beautifully shot and tightly edited. This film is the complete opposite.Reportedly a troubled production, "Devil Times Five" is incompetent in just about every single way. Huge continuity errors abound, and every single shot seems to be framed just a little too low, leaving bizarre dead space above all the actor's heads. What are we supposed to be focusing on up there? The ceiling? It's not very interesting. That wall is lovely, but pan down, would you? The cinematographer seems to have been in a drug haze - it was the 70s after all. In fact, the original director (who had to be replaced half-way through production) turned in a final cut that only ran for 38 minutes. He is said to have been placed in a rehab or psychiatric facility shortly after. All hearsay, but the film is definitely the product of a damaged brain.The cast is strange mix to say the least. Boss Hogg from "The Dukes of Hazzard" makes an appearance, along with Shelley Morrison who went on to star in "Will and Grace". Future teen heartthrob Leif Garret plays one of the children, his hair giving one of the film's best performances, metamorphosing wildly from scene to scene as a result of re-shoots due to the departure of the film's director. His real life mother and sister round out the cast. It's a real family affair.Fans of 70's horror will find a few things to enjoy here. Beyond the distinct atmosphere of the era, there's a bizarre psychedelic murder scene (that goes on for a little too long) where the children take turns beating a man to death. There's a random cat fight that obviously results in exposed breasts. There's a psychotic albino who dresses like a nun. Also, there's death by piranha. But even with that, it's impossible to recommend the film to anyone but enthusiasts. It's just too sloppy and strange for anyone but the most hardened horror buffs to enjoy.

Five extremely disturbed, sociopath children escape from their psychiatric transport and are taken in unwittingly by a group of adult villagers on winter vacation.Very 70s, complete with direction that looks like it's for TV, not the movies, weird whistling music that bares no understanding why it was chosen. And poor over dubbing of sound effects -- even simple stuff like cars driving.A main character is named Papa Doc. When they call him it sounds like Papa Duck! And believe it or not, Lief Garrett is in this flick! No wonder he turned into an addict!The movie is poorly acted the way many are, only it's not a fun ride the way some are.

Five little evil bastards escape a van crash that most assuredly would have killed them had they been normal children. After a little wandering the five find themselves at a remote chalet where three couples and a mentally challenged handyman (try figuring that one out) are spending time in yelling at each other and getting drunk. Sounds like most of my Christmas'. Soon the incompetent adults are dispatched by the little tykes deathtraps that never seem to fail followed by an annoying Pop Goes the Weasel score. Aren't you scared yet? Watch for the catfight when at the end Lovely's robe is only partially open then the next glimpse it is wide open exposing the only things worthy of notice in this film.What a disaster of a movie! It's not without promise but this could have been done so much better. The editing is so poorly done that it is hard to know who certain people are in the film such as the mystery man that emerges from the van wreck. Was it a clown car for chrissakes? This is rated R and yet the death scenes make me wonder if the director decided to pull back on the gore. The five plus minute slo-mo black and white death scene is so painful to watch it defies belief that the director would stoop to this to extend the runtime. Leif Garrett's hairstyle changes inexplicably from a goofy wig to shoulder length from one scene to another. The children refer to a character twice that is no where to be found such as when David kills Harvey and blames it on this mystery "Greg". How can you be so lax? On top of that the murders are so lame that only an idiot would fall for them and yet this chalet is packed with idiots. One scene in particular has two of the kids drown Lovely in the tub while dropping Piranna fish in. The fact that these kids are exposed to the large breasted Carolyn Stellar to begin with is a little disturbing but the scene is followed with all the "devils" dragging her naked body through the snow. One more juicy tidbit is Carolyn Stellar is the real life mother of Leif Garrett and Dawn Lyn who plays Moe. One of the writers is John Durren who plays Ralph the retarded handyman (I wonder if he wrote this channeling his character?) who in a very cringe inducing scene is sexually harassed by Lovely. I would recommend seeing this once with a bunch of friends and adult libations just to laugh at the sheer silliness of this movie. Aren't "peopletoys" marital aide products?

Now i don't like to use juvenile terms when i review a movie, but honestly. i hated this movie. hated hated hated this movie. I know that's a childish thing to say (no pun intended) but there's no better word. This movie was stupid.Allrighty, i might as well tell you WHY. So let's jump into Movie number 22 on our Chilling Classics 50 movie pack.So it starts off with these little annoying kids who climb out of a bus that crashed apparently unharmed. It seems that they just escaped from a crazy house and they are just.... it isn't really clear what their motive it, they're just doing stuff. On the other side of the plot though an old guy who isn't much of a family man has a get together for the rest of his family. They all kind of yell at each other the whole time, so it really isn't that good of a reunion. Or then again, it's like EVERY reunion. Now it said on my DVD sleeve that these people were mafia. I don't know, they never mentioned it, and if this old guy were the head of a mafia you'd think he'd have guards or something, but you know what? i seriously question ever aspect of this movie anyway.So these kids show up and start killing off people one by one. And everyone thinks it's suicides. Because they're idiots. And then they lose their guns. because they're idiots. Then they start getting killed off one by one... because, well something tells me you could figure out why.I am going to spoil the ending here for one specific reason. So you know what happens and you have no cause or reason to see this movie. EVER. The only guy left's girlfriend gets killed by the kids, so he goes out to get his revenge. FINALLY! oh. wait. then he falls in some bear traps and dies..... God i hate this movie.Look. There's something people who make movies need to understand. Just because you have a child in a movie, that does not make them invincible. If a child/ group of children are killers, it does not mean that they can get away scott free and that we think that would be chilling or a role reversal. No. IT'S STUPID. it doesn't frighten or disturb you, it INCREDIBLY ANNOYS YOU. if that was their attempt, then great job, but something tells me they're not that smart to think of something like that. If you have 5 main evil kids, AT LEAST 2 have to die if you're going to make some live. you CANNOT have all of them live. That is BEYOND retarded. Now i know that sort of thing in the role reversal is terrible like Jason Voorehees pretty much won't ever be seen killing a kid, but on the other hand, if 5 kids are slaughtering everybody around them, i think they need to pull out the punches and start lopping off some annoying kid heads.Now i normally don't review in this way, but this movie made me angry at it. So much so that if it were not part of a collection, and "passenger of bali" (which is also on the same disc) not being somewhat entertaining, i would have thrown this stupid thing out.Devil times five gets 1 terrible EVERYTHING out of 10.