**SPOILERS** Even though the film "Laser Mission's" main storyline is supposed to be about this super secret laser weapon that can knock planes and ICBM missiles out of the sky the only laser we get to see in the film is a crude blueprint of it. What we do get to see a lot of is busty Debi Monahan's, as veterinarian and part time secret agent Aissa, very hefty cleavage that "lift's" the film's watch-ability a few notches-or bra sizes-higher that it normally would have been.Basically the movie has to do with this German scientist Prof. Braun, Earest Borgnine, who's knowledge of laser weapons is so extensive that the USSR, who within a year of the films releases would go completely kaput, wants to kidnap him and have the professor work on and vastly improve their secret laser weaponry. If successful this would give the "Evil Empire" the edge over the USA in a future world war that its in fact preparing for.With the CIA getting soldier of fortune, for a cool million bucks, Michael Gold, Brando Lee, to rescue Prof. Braun before the Commies get their hands on him Michael instead ends up getting captured, together with the professor, by them. That's when Michael went to see Prof. Braun in the Communist controlled African People's Republic of Kavango. Set to be executed-via guillotine-as a CIA spy the very next morning Michael makes his escape with the greatest of ease single-handily taking out almost the entire rag-tag Kavango military that was guarding him. Getting in touch with Prof. Braun's "daughter" Aissa at a local Kavango animal hospital the two join forces to save the professor who's now in the custody of Nazi-like German mercenary Eckhart, Werner Pochath. It's the creepy and head-collecting Eckhart who's working for Soviet-controlled Kavango government as a free-lance assassin.The movie start to fall apart almost as soon as it begins in not exactly knowing what its storyline is supposed to be all about. Michael & Aissa end up on the run, after finishing off whatever is still left of the Kavangen Army, in the desert region of Nimibia being chased by an assembly of assassins that includes a Ninja and overweight and over the hill racehorse jockey. It's later in the movie when the two rescue Prof. Braun that things really start to get out of hand with the Russian in charge of this whole rescue, in getting back the professor, mission Col. Kalishnakove, Graham Clarice, makes his presence known.***SPOILERS*** Despite Michael and Assia's attempt to put the what seems like indestructible Col. Kalishnakove away he alway seems to come back from the dead making you, as well as Michael & Aissa, wounder if in fact he's human at all! The film finally and mercifully ends in grand style with not only it being blown sky high and the bad guys getting it but in finding out just who exactly Prof. Brauns's daughter really is! As if by then, or any other time in the movie, anyone watching was really interested in who she was anyway!

some OK fight scenes, nothing special tho, some gawd-awful dialog, definitely B-movie grade action, direction, plot, and effects. Where it was set.. maybe Africa? by way of Russian Cuba? confusing setting, but it was actually shot in a desert somewhere and that bit looks good. Poor Brandon was saddled with some truly horrible dialog, the chick side-kick (Debi A. Monahan), was OK. And although her greatest assets were definitely the 2 in front, at least her dialog was better. The bumbling enemy pair who eventually help them were actually amusing. The evil bad-guy who just won't die was rather amusing after awhile too, how many times to they have to kill him before he'll stay dead? a 3. Not really worth seeing. There are only 3 reason to see this movie it is Brandon Lee's 1st, has Ernest Borgnine, and Debi A. Monahan trying desperately not to fall out of her dress (and unfortunately succeeding). On the other hand - you can get it for $1 so it was actually worth the price, but not a penny more.

Let me just say this is by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Brandon, buddy, what the H-E-Double hockey sticks were you doing in this piece of trash!? Don't get me wrong. I'm one of those guys who loves the worst kind of movies, but this one is just too much. I watched this hoping for a combination of the misty classics Warrior of the Lost World and Space Mutiny, but instead got a combination of a bad James Bond, a silly episode of MacGyver, and experiencing a root canal without Novocain. There isn't a single character that isn't nail bitingly irritating, and any hint of a plot is completely absent. Unless you're a die hard Brandon Lee fan, or you're some kind of film masochist, avoid at all costs.

Yes, it's a dog. But like all dogs, some people like them and some people don't. Brandon was not a very good actor, and all the others in this film live down to his example. There are many films of this genre which were obviously rushed through production, and this movie is a prime example of the genre. Check both your reason and critical sensibilities at the door, and you will be amused by this movie. Unfortunately, you laugh when the director was hoping you would be caught up in the action, but that's part of the fun of this type of movie.One of the surprising aspects of this film is the inclusion of music by David Knopfler ... how he got this job is a mystery.