CURTAINS is a grim and dark Canadian slasher movie from 1983. The plot, about a number of young actresses auditioning for a film director at a bleak and remote mansion, is nothing special, and the constant storytelling really does nothing for the movie apart from slowing the pace down and making it pretty boring to watch. The too-dark cinematography means that all of the crucial death scenes are hard to see and might as well take place in pitch blackness. No, the only thing interesting about this movie is the presence of Hollywood notables like John Vernon and Samantha Eggar, with Linda Thorson and a youthful Michael Wincott alongside them; the rest is merely sleep-inducing.

There is a trend among fans of genre films to look at some long forgotten film as a "lost treasure". Those of us in the horror community are often so hungry for more horror, that we plumb the depths of the past, digging up forgotten films from the golden ages of horror and hailing them as lost gems, when the reality can often be that the movie was nothing more than average at the time and nothing more than average now. That is clearly the case with CURTAINS, a movie that so many of my horror brethren painted in such beautiful light, but really doesn't hold up to the ratings.The Dean from ANIMAL HOUSE plays an "auteur", the kind of director that was so popular in Hollywood around the time of this film's making. When we meet him at the beginning of the film, he is developing a movie with his muse, an actress that is destined to play the role and so bent on perfecting it that she gets herself committed to the asylum for research (this is method acting, right?). Only her plans don't go so well. The director conveniently forgets about her and sets up a casting call at his mansion, where he invites 6 women to come audition for the role. From there, we get pretty much yet another twist on TEN LITTLE INDIANS (if you don't know the reference, go look it up. Half the thrillers you have ever seen in your life were stolen from this plot line). Actresses start dying one by one and the movie is a mystery to guess whodunit.I think that the one thing that this movie does have going for it is its' influences. While very much an 80s slasher film, it is much more highly influenced by the giallo genre, than by the American teen killer films. As such, we mostly avoid gratuitous nudity and the sort of creative kills that were so popular in the wake of Friday THE 13th. Instead, we get a lot of the hallmarks of the giallo, some technique with lighting and color, the use of adult cast, rather than generic teenage stereotypes, a doll that exists for no real plot reason and a killer with a creepy mask and a trademark weapon. We're really just missing the black gloves and a plot that makes no sense.They may have been better off with killing kids in this movie, than the six "beautiful women". None of these girls are given any real personality, nor developed in any way. Being that they are auditioning for the same role, they even all fit into a particular look, so it can be difficult for the viewer to even tell the difference between these women at times. In that way, it starts to become obvious who the killer is in this movie because she's the only one that the movie has taken any time to develop into a real character, with a real personality.The killer is kind of cool, with an old hag's mask and a thresher in hand, the killer starts dispatching the women, most of whom are taking up a little too much of the director's attention. The film tries to play a red herring and throws the viewer a little bit of a twist, but there is really nothing clever in the writing and the movie lacks any signature "kill scene" that fans of the slasher genre are usually looking for in these movies.This isn't a bad film in any way. It's not a good film in any way. In the history of horror, from the silent era to the indie films that appear on streaming sites today, there have always been plenty of movies that were just sort of there. Average films that tried to hit on the successful formula of others and that's about all that CURTAINS aspires to be.

Samantha Sherwood (Samantha Eggar) is a veteran actress who very much wants the title role in her director / lover Jonathan Stryker's (John Vernon) new film "Audra". So much so that she's willing to feign insanity to get herself committed to a mental institution for first hand experience. Unfortunately for her, her surroundings do seem to get to her, and Stryker gives up on her. He invites six young ladies to his remote estate to audition for the part. Well, Samantha gets wind of this, and is able to escape and get back to Strykers' pad. There's also a killer on the premises, as well, one wearing a memorably hideous old hag mask.Considering how troubled this production was, it's a miracle that it ended up being as coherent as it is, and that it's actually pretty damn entertaining. It's a solid Canadian slasher that takes full advantage of atmospheric environments; there aren't enough slashers set in the winter in this fans' humble opinion. It's rather low on gore, but *does* feature one fun severed head gag. It's got some pretty interesting moments that let us know that just racking up the body count is not the primary concern of writer Robert Guza Jr. or director Richard Ciupka (who ended up using the fictional name Jonathan Stryker as a pseudonym). The scene where Stryker puts the mask on Samantha and demands that she "seduce" him without words comes to mind. The music by Paul Zaza (composer for the original versions of "Prom Night" and "My Bloody Valentine") is very effective.The film also creates some very engaging characters such as stand-up comic and aspiring actress Patti O'Connor (lovely Lynne Griffin of the original "Black Christmas"). Vernon is fun as the pompous director and Eggar is just great in her part. Also among the auditioning thespians are Linda Thorson, Anne Ditchburn, Sandee Currie ("Terror Train"), and Lesleh Donaldson ("Happy Birthday to Me", "Cries in the Night", "Deadly Eyes"). It's also a treat to see actors Michael Wincott ("The Crow") and Maury Chaykin ("Dances with Wolves") in early roles for them.There are some mighty fine moments involving a doll left in a road, and an extended chase sequence set inside a storage space full of props and costumes, but the main thing that would give "Curtains" a reputation is the incredible ice skating set piece, which this viewer saw on TV many years ago; it burned its way into his brain long before he ever knew the name of the film.Very well directed and featuring appropriate scene transitions, this is one entry into the slasher genre that its dedicated fans *should* check out.Eight out of 10.

A veteran actress named Samantha (Eggar) has herself committed to an insane asylum to study being nuts for her big role in the film "Audra". The sleaze ball Director Jonathon Stryker (Vernon) who was in on the idea promptly leaves her there. He then sets up an audition with six young actresses at his isolated estate over a weekend to see who will get the part. In the meantime; Samantha gets released from the asylum and makes her way to the estate in with trying to convince Stryker that the role is hers. It doesn't take long for a killer wearing and old woman's mask to start knocking off the actresses. This Canadian slasher film has some good things going for it. It offers a creepy masked killer and some exciting stalk and slash moments. There is also a three foot tall standing doll with the meanest face you have ever seen. This doll appears in a memorable dream sequence that delivers on the films best jump scare. Slasher fans will particularly like the attack of an ice skater being pursued by the killer on the ice and through the snow. There is some classic slasher film suspense that delivers. At its best, 'Curtains' delivers a creepy killer and some decent scares. Unfortunately it also bogs down into too many tedious scenes of the actresses auditioning for the fictional role. Many of these scenes are dull and just plain dumb and this gets in the way of some of the films momentum. Paul Zaza delivers an effective musical score which really helps the movie work. The twist ending and revelation of the killer is rather hollow and doesn't really serve any purpose. There just isn't enough motivation for the killer to be doing all of this. If you can get past the dull parts, 'Curtains' is a good slasher film with just the right amount of blood and don't forget about that scary doll.