Its hard to describe just how fascinating this movie is. Its a horror movie that has the elements of a horror movie, and somehow interspersed them between the entirety of the movie. All while shooting a movie that absolutely makes no sense. Its hard not to spoil this movie, its just so entertaining to look at every scene and wonder how none of it makes any sense.The characters. I almost felt that this was wasted potential, having the horror icon Carradine not being in any way menacing, but then John Ireland swoops in like a superhero. There is not a single scene that the man fails to deliver, every line out of his mouth is a beacon of what would otherwise be unbearable monotony. Whether its directing his actors, "Your possessed, not having an orgasm!" or just being a crotchety codger, the man is a riot to watch. But nothing compares to the big twist at the end. His assistant tried to murder him by gently pushing him into an open grave, to which he responds with, mild irritation. the sheer lack of any threat, even after David reveals his evil intent and tries to push him again, perfectly mirrors the rest of the movie. The rest of the cast is forgettable, it is all about Ireland in this movie.The plot, much like the plot of the movie they are shooting, makes equally no sense. A film crew is shooting on location at an old mansion where seven murders transpired about said murders. The movie starts with a random scene where Faith Domergues character reenacts the suicide of the family member her character is portraying. This is important as the final scene they shoot sees her murdered. The movie tries to play off the the shared animosity between everyone involved in the movie, from the assistant dating the young actress, Ireland riing the cast and crew hard, and Carradine not really doing anything. Only, it doesn't really matter. None of this matters. After an hour of infighting, a zombie starts bumping everyone off in the last thirty minutes. David is revealed to be a part of the Bealy family, and also dead, and after being throne into his own grave, he comes back as a second zombie. This is not all that important either, his success as a zombie is on par with trying to push Ireland. The first zombie however, manages to kill everyone while moving with all the speed of a tectonic plate. You could almost feel his despair as he comes to his biggest weakness. A modest flight of stairs. Probably the best scene not focusing on Ireland is when Domergues discovers the body of her dead cat in the middle of a field during a shoot that apparently no one took notice to when they set up the shot. Nothing matters, the only take away is that Carradine has a big scene of reading a book, getting distracted, and getting back to his reading.I really can't believe how much fun I had watching this movie. I pent a good three minutes trying to figure out whether a black spot on a mirror was a problem with the remastering or something that wasn't supposed to be seen in the final print. I marveled at the compete inanity of the meta narrative, where Carradine explained the fates of each family member only for most of t to be forgotten by the end of the movie and only three of them being reenacted by the ghoul. This is a good movie to grab a pint, shut your head off and laugh at the complete inanity of life.

"The House of Seven Corpses" follows a film crew making a movie at a haunted mansion where seven mysterious deaths occurred under varying circumstances over the course of its history. Through the re-enactment of rituals in the film, the crew brings about evil forces that threaten the lives of everyone involved.Before you let the mass of IMDb reviews lambasting this film put you off from giving it a spin, I have to say that, at least as far as mid-'70s supernatural horror flicks go, "The House of Seven Corpses" is not nearly the disasterpiece that it's been painted as. The opening credits play over filmed re- enactments of the seven deaths that occurred in the titular house, ranging from grim suicides to murders, each pausing on a still frame of the dying subject—it's an unsettling opening, and perhaps one of the unexpectedly eeriest credit sequences I've seen.The film benefits from the fact that it's a movie about the making of a movie, which affords it some inventive ground in which it can present scenes to its audience without the audience knowing full-well what is "real" and what is part of the production. It's an easy trick, but an effective and at times mind-bending one. For being a low-budget picture, it does have some nice cinematography, and the mansion locale is remarkably dreary and unsettling. There is a noticeable lull in the middle of the film, but the finale ramps up the action a bit, and it ends on an appropriately bizarre note.A wacky and routinely idiosyncratic performance from John Carradine lends the film a little bit of extra weirdness, while John Ireland plays the overbearing director, and Hollywood's golden age horror starlet Faith Domergue effectively plays an aging actress.Overall, I found "The House of Seven Corpses" to be a competent haunted house horror film. It is very much of a certain stock, and it's not groundbreaking nor perfectly crafted—but in terms of mood, it's effectively weird and atmospheric, which makes up for the nosedive it takes about midway through before breathing some life into itself before its untimely death. 6/10.

A movie crew shoots its latest satanic flick at a house which had experienced seven actual murders. John Carradine plays the grim grounds keeper who warns of the impending dangers. This felt very much in the spirit of the superior CHILDREN SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS, I thought. And like that film we have to sit through a lot of exposition until we get to the ghoulish mayhem at the very end. There isn't much to recommend for most of the first three quarters, unless you like watching people shoot movies. But I always get a kick out of seeing Carradine wandering about in any horror film. Also starring in this movie is an older Faith Domergue (50's sci-fi beauty) which is interesting. And it's funny watching John Ireland playing the part of the most insufferably arrogant director any underpaid actor would ever want to work for. ** out of ****

This is the type of movie where it actually hurts to acknowledge that it really, really sucks. I normally sanctify stuff like this! Early 70's grindhouse flicks with scrumptious sounding titles and a schlocky low-budget atmosphere usually ROCK. "House of Seven Corpses" appeared to dispose of even more trumps, since the cast is a gathering of great genre veterans (including John Carradine, John Ireland and Faith Domergue) and the filming locations (the titular house, the graveyard) are obviously very expedient for a gloomy tale of terror. The film opens with its absolute greatest and most hauntingly memorable sequences, though sadly enough they're the only ones that qualify as such. The credits are a splendid montage, complete with freakish color-effects and eerie freeze-frames, illustrating how the titular house received its notorious reputation. The last seven owners were mysteriously murdered here and the credits montage gleefully exhibits their final moments. Someone falls down the balcony screaming, a lady drowns in her bathtub, and another female body hangs dangling from the ceiling and four more macabre tableaux. Needless to say the house is cursed and the awkward behavior of t caretaker Mr. Price (Carradine) only fortify this reputation. In other words, the house forms the ideal turf for the acclaimed director Eric Hartman (John Ireland) to shoot his satanic horror film project. The film-within-film structure is what mainly causes "House of Seven Corpses" to be so boring and uneventful. A lot of movie-material is wasted on crew members putting films spools in the camera and dragging around cables or – even worse – Faith Domergue and Charles Macaulay portraying horridly intolerable actor stereotypes. The plot finally gets a little interesting (only a little, mind you) when one of the characters reads some lines from an occult book and accidentally awakes a rotting corpse in the backyard. The asthmatic (judging by the noises he produces) zombie slowly heads for the house and kills the entire movie crew, reminiscent of how the previous seven turned into corpses. After a running time of approximately 60 minutes, the film suddenly turns from humdrum into just plain weird and confusing. I'm still unsure whether the final twist has to do with the concept of reincarnation or just coincidence and all the remaining characters suddenly seem to go undergo vast mental transformations shortly before they die, for some reason. I honestly regret confirming "House of Seven Corpses" is a pretty dreadful movie. The locations and scenery are gloomy chilling, but not nearly used to full effect and there's a serious lack of gruesome bloodshed. Numerous low-budgeted 70's gems were stunningly gross, so the lack of financial means is no excuse and the film-within-film murders really don't count. Even the always-reliable veteran stars deliver hammy performances and Harrison's direction is completely uninspired. Not recommended, unless you think the zero cool four-and-a-half minute playing opening credits montage is worth the effort of purchasing a copy.