Let's cut to the chase: Boy meets girl. Both parties are emotionally and sexually stunted. Unexplained alien parasites are wandering around looking for humans to mutate into "Necroborgs" who fight one another to the death. Aliens turn both boy and girl into quasi-alien fighting machines, although they really, really like each other. Mayhem ensues, gallons of blood are spilled, and the boy finally proves his love by "growing" what amounts to a giant penis cannon from his chest and blowing up his girlfriend real good. No one ever said love comes easily.This ridiculous and zany entry into Japanese splatter lacks a strong story, as well as the two main characters flat-lining in their performances. The earlier and much better "Tetsuo" is the movie "Meatball" is attempting to emulate. For all the wacky Bohemian mutation going on here, the entire enterprise simply becomes the worst thing it can mutate into: boring.The mutated humans look as if they've been covered in epoxy and rolled around Home Depot creating hardware body shells from stuff mostly found in the plumbing and electrical parts section. Special mention to the rubber hose crew for ripping off the flailing tentacles first seen in John Carpenter's "The Thing". Far too much time is spent on human interior shots, where the parasites do their dirty work. The aliens look like pink versions of 1959's "The Tingler", crossed with those very expensive Hawaiian crab-claw flowers you pay 25 bucks apiece for in an uptown florist shop. The parasites spend a lot of time crying,evidently having sex with themselves, and giggling, for reasons unexplained...until the end of this junk, where you are treated to a ten-minute conversation between two parasites who are evidently pals playing a cosmic game of some sort. The viewer is treated to a final shot of a nasty eyeball thingy spaceship, with a happy voice-over that the games will continue.By the time this stupid excuse for a movie rolls around, you'll feel like someone repeatedly hit you in the face with a plate of rotten sushi. There is not a single meatball in sight, which is sad. Very sad.

"Meatball Machine"Have you ever wanted to see a film based solely on the positives you created in your own head? Completely ignoring any cinematic standards or any reviews written on the film? Because, of course, your going to believe what you want to believe anyway. This way of thinking is very true in my case and for my latest film review for the Japanese shock film "Meatball Machine"'Meatball Machine" is another film among the ranks of the Tokyo Gore- splatter film genres, with a pinch of Sci-Fi. I was curiously drawn to the film solely on genre, but more specifically because Japanese Effects Director Yoshihiro Nishimura helms the ever so, not so easily forgotten style of excessive blood, mutations of grandeur and everything perverse his big brain can throw at you. In this case the film is a complete success for it's costumes and effects. I've come to the realization that the best way to judge Nishimura's FX work is to base it strictly on a physiological basis. If you feel a little queasy or your stomach mildly turns, then the film is usually pretty good. If you experience any worse symptoms then the aforementioned, you better settle in and expect a wild ride.As for the remainder of the film.... I'll get to that a bit later...after the jump!"Meatball Machine" pits a young machine worker "Yoji" ( Issei Takahashi) as a lonely member of society. He's not great with the ladies and frequents adult theaters only to receive advancements from a transvestite. When a friend attempts to cheer him up and brings him to a brothel to de-virginize him, he walks out before anything happens.On a daily basis he longs across a field at the affection of his desire, a young women, a co-worker whom he cannot muster enough courage to share his feelings.This sub-plot plays second fiddle to the meat of the story that explodingly connects a bit later in the film.Japan has become infested with parasitic alien creatures that inhabit and take control of human hosts, and when one of the host bodies are met face to face with another, a fight to the death ensues...oh and the winner rips out the alien parasite and eats it upon victory (yeah. not a real family friendly film). One of the more eventful scenes in the film is when a alien is found by "Yoji" outside the porn theatre. He brings it home and puts it in his closet. When he invites his affection home with him, it rears it's ugly head, and horrible scorpion tail, that it inserts inside her vagina, spewing the alien parasite inside her to take control of her. I swear, maybe it was just me, but it looked like she actually took pleasure when that elephants trunk stinger penetrated her Hoo Hoo....eww! This sequence sets off a chain of events that is "Meatball Machine"Co-Directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Jan'ichi Yamamoto create this concoction based on earlier work written, produced and directed by Yamamoto in 1999. Their science experiment Circa 2005 starts very well- with elements of horrific, excessive gore, violence and welcomed extremism. My first thoughts were " I'm in for gory, gory, goodness".Like this head split in two!!!!!( Not the best Photo)Overall the direction was moderately constructed-Costume and Effects were pleasantly expected. The Writing at times, I felt lacked in originality and direction, at times becoming loose, making the pace and energy of the film misplaced. The love story, sub-plot was refreshingly agreeable for sheer ironic purposes. In conclusion the film is a success for any fan of the Japanese bloody madness genre. A little too weird in subject matter for my taste, but it is worth watching....once!BruceVain

Some may feel that the rating i have just given is a bit generous, but for what this film is i think the directors have done a good job with that they had available to them, this is also a film a film of an acquired taste! my immediate thought was the direct connection to the classic cult film 'The Thing' i.e the parasitical aliens from outta space, infesting human host to then reek havoc wherever possible!You can see how this film pays homage to such a film and others of the horror/gore genre, however cleverly maintains its own originality, well these things fight each other for one and then continue to eat then fallen rival! Only killing and picking a human when it needs a new host! To then pick another fight with another infected host! And this film even throws in a love story but i wont say no more otherwise it gives too much away.GREAT! But like i said of an acquired taste, so don't be surprised if you don't like the film. It is low budget and yes it is blood thirsty, with the creatures/aliens/things morphing their limbs into crude looking weapons, i.e saws, drills, blades and even the odd gun to all but decimate there opponent. I found myself cringing at what i was being shown but at the same time glued to the screen wondering what was going to happen next!So if you like gore, you like aliens, you like fighting and even maybe a little bit of love thrown in somewhere, then i must recommend this film as a must see. I just wish i came across this earlier then i did!

Meatball Machine is an amazing splatter film, it has an original plot with young love, buckets of blood, and weird alien creatures that mutate people into freakish robotic war machines.Now the film isn't for everyone, people who love splatter films or the movie Tetsuo: the Iron Man will applaud it.The special effects can be cheesy at some points of the film, but your not exactly suppose to take the film very seriously.Yet, all in all it's a lot of fun, well if you find budding romantics infested with slimy tumor like gobbles who seek to destroy each other in bloody alien oozing battles.