... but perfect inspiration for a site that help people avoid wasting time watching truly rotten films like this.Whether or not you've started watching this yet or not it's never too late to "eject."Press stop.

"Kazaam" is a massive failure on so many levels that showcases a production company's desire to take advantage of children. It fails in terms of everything it sets out to accomplish if there was anything to even begin within the screenplay. Shaq as a genie didn't even make me laugh as much as it made me feel uncomfortable every time I saw that stupid smile of his staring at the kid. This film sucked so let's get this over with.It's about a kid, Max (Francis Capra) who lives with his mother, Alice (Ally Walker) in Brooklyn, New York. During school, Max is chased by bullies into an abandoned building where he falls through a floor and discovers a boom box. He accidentally unleashed the genie inside who calls himself, "Kazaam" (Shaq). Kazaam becomes Max's Genie and follows him around until he can grant the kid three wishes. Max discovers that his mother lied to him about his father, Nick (James Acheson) who left the family years before. He discovers he is in New York and sets out to find his father while hauling Kazaam behind him.I would love to know the real reason why this was made. It doesn't even have any potential to be good at all. It's an excuse and all I can think of is that Shaq was really desperate and needed to make this film. I can't believe he was offered 7 million for this. This is also supposed to be a children's movie. I strongly disagree with that as it quite a violent film as well but I will get to that. So, this garbage starts off with a massive wrecking ball taking up 5 mins of the films opening to destroy a building that houses a magic lamp that Kazaam is inside. The thing tips over and lands on a boom box. The Genie decides to take up residence inside.We are introduced to Max who tries to hard to be a bad boy and gets bullied by some stupid kids who try even harder to be bad boys. It's like the director told the kids to look like wannabe drug-dealing thugs because that what they come off as. These kids are supposed to be high school students but they are so mean-spirited and one of them wears an earring bigger than my fist. It adds a seriously violent tone to the film as they beat Max up for no reason. I can't even begin to believe they are bullies. There is a sequence in a bathroom where they outline his body on the floor with paint. I think I'll stick with the director telling them to be drug dealers because I don't believe they are in high school. This is just awful. Why do we need to show "Bullies" painting a teenager's body on the floor? Was the director hinting something here? The kids are scared off when Kazaam appears and one of them decides to try to hit the Genie with a piece of wood. Does that sound like something someone would do if a Genie, oh I don't know, popped out of nowhere and looked like Shaq dressed as a ridiculous clown? Shaq looks like a TV commercial for the middle east as he walks around with the kid at 7 foot 6 and smiles like an idiot whenever he stares at the kid. From here on, we learn that Max's equally stupid father pirates music and get involves with some of the most laughable actors I have ever seen in a film. These guys are truly pathetic. One of them, I think he is the main villain, speaks with a clearly fake Russian accent and can't act at all. It all leads up to a violent ending involving Max and an elevator shaft. Oh, and then Shaq kung-fu fights a group of terribly acted Russian gangsters. Apparently they want to learn Kazaam's power or something. At this point in the film, I just wanted it to end.Nobody in this film can act. The direction is thrown out the window and the screenplay is such a mess that they need to fill time in so they have Kazaam show Max his powers by using horrible special effects to make it rain candy bars. The special effects are so bad they will hurt your eyes. If that's not enough, Shaq uses even more horrible special effects to shower in front of Max and ride a stupid bike into the air while laughing like an idiot. I think Shaq was a rapper around this time which would explain why there is a dumb subplot where some moron sees Kazaam rap and hires him to open for the female hip hop trio, Salt-N-Pepa. The story takes a complete detour and forgets everything so they can showcase Shaq as a rapper until the end of the film comes along and it forgets Shaq was a rapper so they can end what becomes quite violent.This movie should never have been made and the screenwriter is a joke. Too many bad ideas fused together to make a choppy movie and attempts to showcase Shaq in many different ways that fail; his outfit being the silliest of them all. I'm just mystified as to why the director made this film violent. It's not kiddie violent either. The ending is pretty serious for a "children's movie." I hope parents don't take their kids to see this awful film. The people who made it should be ashamed of themselves for taking advantage of Children. I hope the director, Paul Michael Glaser never makes another film.

*may contain spoilers* OK, this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, however, it's not a good movie. the child actor wasn't great here and was kinda mean and rude to Kazaam. Shaq (playing Kazaam) was as good as he possibly could be, which of course isn't good. Shaq's just not an actor, he's a physical specimen, he's a monster basketball player who you don't want to play against, but acting isn't his thing and if that was his real rapping, then that also is really bad. He actually said, "Let's Green Egg and Ham it." Anyways, the plot is that Shaq's a rapping genie who gets let out of his radio type lamp and gives Max three wishes and Shaq "raps" (or as i call it, doing bad poetry) almost everything he says. If you like Shaq and just want to see his presence or are curious to see his very short rap career, then, watch the movie. i, however, didn't love it, but again, it wasn't the worst I've seen.

We're all familiar with genies in Middle Eastern mythologies. They could be in lamps like Aladdin or in bottles like I Dream of Jeannie. But never, and I repeat never, have I heard of genies coming out of boom boxes! Shaq O'Neil maybe a famous basketball player, but he's such a crappy actor! There are a lot of issues that should have been easily fixed in the first place.First, the acting. Is it me or did everybody woke up in the middle of the afternoon and decided to say "Huh, whatever. Not my movie, I'm not going to act today." Second, the songs. And yes, Shaq O'Neil raps his brains out. But his rapping and the songs are so bland, I keep thinking that the songs were written by the same people who created Bebe's Kids and Tom and Jerry the Movie. Third, the humor. What is the intended age to make stupid jokes like that, ages Born-11 months?! This is probably the same age range intended for Babygeniuses and Titanic: The Legend Goes On! And now, here's my rap for this movie: This piece of crap is oh so bad, it makes me positively mad! It makes me shout and swear and scream, I'd throw this movie down a stream. It's Stupid and Crappy, Tacky and Sappy, Horrendous and Hideous Despicable and Tedious!Don't watch this movie, it'll get you rabies and the humor is intended for babies! Kazaam's a sham and Shaq O'Neil is full of ham! Kazaam is bad and this movie makes me really mad! And it stinks a lot like doggy poo, I might as well be playing Shaq Fu! (PS, that video game sucks too) Enough Said.