C-grade instalment in the ever popular cannibal catalogue, light years behind "Cannibal Holocaust" and not much closer to "Mangiati Vivi" or Cannibal Ferox". The indomitable Al Cliver takes centre stage, playing an explorer whose pre-adolescent daughter is abducted by cannibals while on a voyage down the Amazon river. Years later he returns with photo journalists in toe in an attempt to locate and retrieve her, and discovers she has ascended to local deity status.At times incoherent, the rough editing, mediocre make-up and shoddy cinematography make a tough job even tougher, while trying to contend with the puerile dubbing and overly intense acting. There's the ubiquitous animal cruelty (a giant butterfly sandwich anyone?), severed limbs and other grotesque depictions that you'd expect, but it all seems more gratuitous than usual. Spanish horror maestro Jess Franco has apparently jumped on the cannibal franchise bandwagon, minus a cogent storyline, in pursuit of some quick pay dirt.Lacking most of the fundamentals that make a professional film, it's barely credible as a movie a labour that may even bore the cannibal enthusiasts.

this is one of those films that you force yourself to watch until the very end because you love the topic of film. one of those films that's cover and blurb promise a story and you get a gore fest of unbearably disappointing levels. if you value your sanity though, i seriously recommend not wasting your time on this, although considering that you have taken an interest in it already makes your state of sanity questionable! the unrepentantly repetitive scenes in this film give way to a genuinely weakly carried-out plot and generally ruin what could have been a good film. please, oh good please do not waste your time on this film when there are movies such as wrong turn, the hills have eyes and evil breed out there. the three worst things about this movie? the awful dubbing (id' rather listen to nails on a chalkboard). the boring cannibalism scenes, all shot in slow-mo and the same as the last. the rubber crocodile. don't even bother with this movie unless your set on viewing the entire cannibal-horror sub-genre. as hinted in the title of this review, this is better than watching paint dry, but only just. though, if it's textured paint...

Jess Franco had to jump on the cannibal movie bandwagon sooner or later, and finally did it with this 1980 gut-muncher. It's terrible in pretty much every way, but for some reason it manages to hold your attention. I cannot quite put my finger on why.A doctor (the gargantuanly awful Al Cliver, from Lucio Fulci's ZOMBIE), his wife and daughter are aboard a boat in the Amazon doing some sort of medical research. The boat is attacked by cannibals who eat the wife right there on the deck. They kidnap the doctor and chop off his arm. Meanwhile, the daughter jumps off the boat and washes up down river. Some passing cannibals believe she is the "white goddess." They take her back to the village where she becomes part of the tribe.Ten or so years later, the doctor returns to the area to find her. She has turned into a vacant-eyed hottie with perfect blonde hair and a cute butt. Slowly she remembers who he is and they head back to civilization together, after the doctor has won a one-armed fight with the daughter's cannibal husband.MONDO CANNIBALE (aka "CANNIBALS") looks like it was shot in someone's backyard, has some of the worst English dubbing I've ever heard and gore effects that consist of little more than hunks of meat soaked in fake blood being gnawed on by extras. The cannibals themselves look ridiculous in their loincloths and greasepaint and the score can best be described as "disco tribal" music.Despite all this, however, the movie did hold my attention, if only to see just how awful it could get. Being directed by Jess Franco, there's an atmosphere of seediness to temper the technical ineptitude. I certainly didn't get tired of seeing the daughter cavorting around in nothing but a leather g-string and there are plenty of unintentional laughs along the way as well.Blue Underground's DVD presents the movie remastered and looking far better than it has any right to. There's also a funny, charming interview with Franco in which he reveals he's well aware of how terrible the movie is and his distaste for the cannibal subgenre in general.Recommended for cannibal movie completists only.

The opening credits on my DVD say this is a Franco Prosperi film, yet the cover states that the director is none other than Jess Franco; I am more inclined to believe the latter given the dreadful camera-work, poor narrative, dreadful effects and general shoddiness of this production.Looking as though it was shot in the local botanical gardens (I'm sure I spotted roads and walls in the supposed tropical jungle) and featuring the most unconvincing cannibals ever (due to badly applied face paint, they look like members of Kiss crossed with the Insane Clown Posse), this lamentable mess of a movie features Al Cliver as Jeremy Taylor, a doctor searching for his missing daughter, who was abducted by a tribe of cannibals many years before. After putting together an expedition and travelling into cannibal country, he discovers his long-lost girl living with the gut-munchers having been proclaimed a goddess by the savages.As any fan of the genre knows, cannibal movies should include as much stomach churning gore as possible, plus frequent nudity and, wherever possible, real animals being hacked to pieces. White Cannibal Queen fails on all counts. The gore is shot in out-of-focus, extreme close-up (and in slow motion!), the nudity is sparse (the 'cannibal queen' is topless and Franco regular Lina Romay briefly bares her breasts) and not a single defenceless critter gets mutilated.Only a cool funky jungle soundtrack, and an extremely funny moment when the head cannibal suddenly starts to speak English, prevents me from giving this Franco farrago the lowest possible score (he's already been given 1/10 from me for his excremental efforts A Virgin Among the Living Dead and Succubus).