"Time doesn't matter when you're talking about eternity." At one point in the film: One of the eight one-time convicts (who were hired to steal suitcased loot in pairs) says this to a fellow thug (who, in turn, points a gun on the declarist's forehead). Every character in this flick has a reason to be on-edge, and we discover those reasons at the end of the film, which is blessed with a magnificent cast. Eric Roberts leads the pack with style, Chris Rock plays a goon who boasts, and Kevin Bernhardt is a tough guy that delivers extremely-timely lines. The hostage "Cleopatra" adds plenty of sex appeal, sporting some fine threads and some fine cleavage, almost distracting the viewer. There's a certain '95 film that may seem cousin-bound, but to compare this film to "The Usual Suspects" is blasphemous. 'Suspects' doesn't have the action, humor, or the Cleopatra that this film has. TUS simply has an unusually inferior cast and script to this action-comedy. This crowd-pleaser also stars Bill Forsythe, known for his villainous role in 'Out for Justice'. In this one, he seems to play a homophobe who bickers at Kerry, and early in the film they visit a titty bar. In this one, however, he doesn't battle Steven Seagal at the end. But gay or straight, they all slowly but surely realize they have more in common than they initially thought. And whether you're an Eric Roberts fan or not, this has to be considered (along with 'Nature of the Beast') a 1995 timeless masterpiece.

On the outside "The Immortals" just looks like another in a long line of standard heist thrillers, with the only difference being that this one's probably much more violent. But as the story starts developing we find out that all these characters aren't your stereotypical 'I want money' robbers, they're all doing it out of necessity. Thats the very unexpected and unusual twist in this very violent movie. The plot isn't extremely complicated. It's about a nightclub owner, Jack(Eric Roberts who shows why all his movies lately have been direct-to-video) who picks 8 people(Tia Carrere, Chris Rock, Joe Pantoliano, Clarence Williams III, William Forsythe, Keiran Mulroney, writer Kevin Bernhardt and Brian Finney), all with terminal illnesses to rob a crimelord(Tony Curtis). But when they get betrayed it turns into an all-out battle for survival...and a very entertaining one at that. After the movie gets into its second act it turns into 'Predator' style game of who's next to die. But one thing that raises "The Immortals" above the average heist thriller is that the characters aren't stereotypes but real people. I actually cared for the characters when they died. While "The Immortals" won't win any Oscars, and won't make any critics top ten list, it's still an entertaining rental. 7/10

...though I think watching paint dry might be more interesting. Sometimes you see a movie that makes you wonder, like The Matrix. Sometimes you see a movie that makes you laugh, like There's Something About Mary. And sometimes you see a movie that moves you inside, like Schindler's List.The Immortals made me want to do nothing. In fact, I nearly fell asleep. The acting is roughly fifth-rate, the plot forgettable, and all in all, the movie is a waste of tape.0.0/5.0 stars. Yuck.

Although this movie had an intriguing premise, and a few good ideas, it overall just didn't work. The directing and editing were really sloppy, and I didn't care for any of the characters. It looked cheap as well. Tony Curtis was the best thing about this movie, though sadly he only appears for a few minutes; his scenes and a funny scene in the nightclub kitchen barely save this from being a total bomb.