Disgraced ex-captain of England football team Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan (Vinnie Jones) is thrown in prison for drunkenly assaulting two police officers. Guard Burton tells him that the governor will offer him the job to coach the prison wardens' football team. His men beats him up telling him not to take the job. Lots of prisoners are angry that he threw a game. He befriends smuggler Massive and elderly Doc. He takes on coaching the prisoner's football team with maximum-security prisoner Monk (Jason Statham).Unlike its American cousins, the humor is not the simple, easy, broad kind. It tries to be darker, energetic grittiness. It's not quite that and it's not quite funny either. This definitely has the Guy Ritchie flavor but director Barry Skolnick doesn't have the same skill level. I would have liked to see Ritchie do the directing himself.

As a fan of the original Burt Reynolds movie, I had mixed feelings about this movie. On one side as a traditional football (soccer) fan and not a fan of American football, I though I'd get more enjoyment out of it. On the other side I love the original movie so much it would obviously suffer in comparison, and let's be honest Vinnie Jones is no Burt Reynolds. Plot In A Paragraph: A disgraced former footballer is sent to jail for three years for drunkenly assaulting a police officer. Once there the Warden wants him to train the guards football team, he refuses, after a while he agrees to play in, and coach a team of cons to play the gaurds in a one off match.Whilst not as enjoyable as the Burt Reynolds version, it is a lot of fun with Jason Statham stealing the show as The Monk!! While Danny Dyer gets a lot of laughs, likewise Vas Blackwood as Massive and David Kelly is touching as Doc.

Based on Keenan Wynn's 'The Longest Yard', Fletcher adds Brit wit to the screenplay as Skolnick directs a splendid film. Of course the story isn't anything new (like most sports flicks) but the humour brings out the charm. The characters are fun to watch and funnily enough the actors have famously starred in Guy Ritchie films. It's as if they were in prison for the crimes they committed in those films. But, just to avoid any misconception, this isn't a crime-flick and it's very different from the Ritchie films, both in style and content. One doesn't have to be a football fan to enjoy it as the entertainment value is universal. The football match sequence was hilarious and if only the real matches were half entertaining! All the actors do a fine job but it is Vinnie Jones who carries the movie and it's nice to see him as a guy who gets beaten up in comparison to the tough guy roles he's typecast in. Overall, this is a fun little film, not one to be taken too seriously.

Generally, I'm a fan of any British; that doesn't count me as an unfair person. When I'm talking for movies, I'll like to be honest and fair, because I love cinema...So... I'm a huge fan of European cinema, specially for French & British.This particular "kind" of British movies, the "so-called" ACTION-COMEDY ones, specially the kind of movies like the "Snach", is my TOP FAVORITE kind.This one, "Mean Mashine", is a quite good movie to watch. So, why I voted with "7"? Simple... If you're a fan of Vinnie Jones (as player or actor) and the incredible Jason Statham, you can't vote something below "7"! Of course, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" & "Snach", are two of the TOP British movies, with really clever scenario, fantastic directing and great acting.But... in this movie, you'll find yourselves laughing many times, by the unique British humor and... phrases!"Bollocks"!