I like bad movies. I like them a lot. So when I heard tell of the legend that is Andy Sidaris, I decided to check this one out.Now, normally, my taste in cinematic sweepings is a lot less boobular than this. However, you have to admit that Sidaris had a vision and knew what he needed to fulfil it. 1. Guns that go BANG! 2. Breasts that go BOING! 3. Dialogue that goes "buh..."The two female leads are not great thespian talents (I suspect the casting was done at the Playboy Mansion with the assistance of a tape measure), but do their part with bucketloads of enthusiasm.The film does have possibly the only skateboard/blowup doll/bazooka death scene in the history of celluloid, but the escaped snake is even less convincing than the plot itself. Altogether, this is a sort of evocation of what made the Eighties so damn... Eighties. Tasteless, silly, shiny, pneumatic, hairsprayed, gratuitous.

Hard ticket to Hawaii was introduced to me by pure randomness, on a rainy day of having nothing to do, I looked out on the Internet movies considered so horrible and cheesy, that they are actually hilarious and entertaining! I saw all of them except that one movie; Hard ticket to Hawaii... And... Oh.. My.. F****ng God, this movie is a masterpiece of awful! I mean, it's like if a Porn movie and Rambo had a baby... Let me sum up this movie in a few words; Boobs, Guns, Drugs, Blood, Lots of boobs and A GIANT SNAKE! After reading this, you probably have the urge of watching this flick out, if not well... Good for you, cause that movie if really terrible!For those who wants to be entertained by nudity violence and hilariously bad dialogues, watch this movie you'll laugh your butt off! For those who wants a cinematic and artistic experience of art, well, why are you even on this page?! This movie, as a normal dude who wants to be entertained, deserves an 8/10... For the mainstream critics, it is AT BEST a 3/10... In my humble opinion! Thanks for reading!

Even though the Malibu Express yacht returns, this is not a real sequel to the movie "Malibu Express". Dona Speir starred for the first time in one of Sidaris' movies; tough guy Rodrigo Obregon and Playboy playmate Cynthia Brimhall would become familiar faces in the series of action movies with lethal ladies, too. "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" begins with two female pilots who carry an extremely dangerous snake on board of their plane. The snake escapes and spreads death, but the two ladies are also in danger because they interfered unknowingly with the plans of diamond smugglers. The movie suffers from a mediocre story, silly dialogs and poor acting, but with a lot of action and the fine craftsmanship behind the camera, it becomes easy to sit through. This is the 2nd out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order. Even if "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" isn't among my personal faves, I have the impression that due to the learning experience from this, some of the following works became much better.

Near the beginning of this movie, when the two buxom secret agents take their tops off and get into a Jacuzzi BEFORE they examine some evidence, I knew this was going to be a movie not to take seriously. Unfortunately, the plot is so ridiculous and the acting so atrocious that no amount of sex and violence can save it. How adults can think that anyone can buy into a movie like this is beyond me. For example, our heroes plan to break into the villain's fortress by playing Frisbee with the guard on the beach(?) and then switching the Frisbee with a razor-blade ringed one. Does it work? If you have to ask, then I guess you are the target market for this movie.