Made in Spain with no sound equipment under a director who rewrote it as he filmed it, shelved for years due to being unusable, then one day roughly edited, badly dubbed, and poorly scored in an attempt to get something saleable and here we are.Ever seen Sinbad portrayed as a heavily muscled superman in sparkly purple disco tights? Ever seen Jaffar portrayed as a cackling English villain in cahoots with a busty blonde in a scandalous leather one piece? Well now you can!There's monsters, fighting, sexy ladies, animated effects, leather clad henchmen, slo-mo running, a 'Poochie the Dwarf' comic-relief who's neither funny nor a dwarf then disappears midway through the movie, more fighting, constant narration explaining what's going on, laughably poor music, magical zombie horses, and that guy off the hulk, I mean what's not to like, people!?

Italian trash director Enzo G. Castellari puts the 'bad' in Sinbad with this inept fairy-tale flick based on The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade by Edgar Allen Poe. Bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno plays the legendary sailor who, with the help of his brave crew, must recover five magical gems to free the city of Basra, which has fallen under an evil spell cast by wicked wizard Jaffar (John Steiner).Sinbad of the Seven Seas opens in a similar manner to The Princess Bride (1987), with a mother (Daria Nicolodi) reading a bedtime story to her young daughter. But whereas this framing device was used sparingly and intelligently in Rob Reiner's much loved classic, Castellari's muddled storytelling requires frequent and extremely dull narration from Nicolodi to help explain the story, all of which proves very distracting, never allowing the viewer to become immersed in the action.Not that the film would prove very engaging even if it it were possible to follow matters without the narration: Castellari's direction is dreadful, the script (by fellow Italian hack Luigi Cozzi) is diabolical, the performances range from wooden (Ferrigno) to ridiculously hammy (Steiner), and the special effects are cheap and nasty. The result is a film that possesses zero magic—a bedtime story that'll have you drifting off to sleep, whether you want to or not.

Basically, you can take the comments I recently wrote on Lou Ferrigno's two Hercules movies and apply them to his Sinbad outing. If possible, however, Sinbad of the Seven Seas is even more of a snooze-fest than those two films. I don't know when I've been so utterly bored by a movie. I could do the usual and mention the cheap special effects, the ludicrous plot, the laughable dialogue, or the really bad acting, but it seems a bit like piling on. Suffice it to say that everything (and I mean everything) about Sinbad of the Seven Seas is about as bad as you'll see.One thing I will mention in a little detail is the music. The score was done on a cheap synthesizer and lacks any depth or soul. Someone named Dov Seltzer is credited as the "composer". You could have fooled me! After watching the opening credits, I was sure the old Super Nintendo system would get the music credits.

Just like The Archer: Fugitive from the Empire, the last time I saw this film is like 7 or 8 years ago. I didn't even remember seeing it, but when I spoke to my brother about The Archer last time, he said: ‘Yes that was a great B movie, just as Sinbad of the Seven Seas with Lou Ferrigno.' I was like: ‘WHAT FILM?' Then he told me all about the zombies and the scene when Sinbad squished one of the zombies hearts with his bare hands and I was like: ‘Was that the movie when he rips off an arm off one of the zombies?' He said ‘YEP' and I remembered. That film was really good. I mean I do not remember many films for such a long time without having seen them, after that. The only 4 films I can recollect pretty good are this one, The Archer, The Temple of Doom and Tarantula. The latter two because well, The Temple of Doom gave me nightmares and Tarantula scared the living crap out of me. Anyway I'm wandering off here. Great trash flick this one.8 out of 10