JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is an incredibly poor B-movie science fiction film shot in South Africa. For the first part it plays out as a genuine attempt at a novel adaptation, but then an entirely different film is tacked on and directed by B-movie specialist Albert Pyun. This film is a sequel to ALIEN FROM L.A. and feels like NIGHT OF THE COMET in its depiction of fashion victims battling an alien race living below the Earth. Truth be told, this is cheesy and confusing, with only the fashions and hairstyles standing out; the rest is unfunny, badly acted, and completely generic, the kind of movie that has absolutely no idea what it wants to be.

From an early age I've loved films based on Jules Verne's "Journey To The Centre of Earth", Edgar Rice Burroughs' "At The Earth's Core", Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Lost World" and countless other tales of hidden realms populated by strange civilisations, weird creatures or dinosaurs, no matter how loosely they followed the original, how many liberties they took with it or how much they "borrowed" from each other. I'm also a fan of cheesy 80's fantasy, so generally I can be forgiving towards wobbly special effects, but even I must draw the line somewhere! My main problem with this isn't the terrible acting or the dodgy special effects (anyone waiting for stop-motion dinosaurs, please move along. There's some men-in-suit monsters, I'll get to those in a sec) but with they fact that this "story" has no structure to it whatsoever. Characters that start of being the main protagonists end up being side-lined or even just forgotten (I would imagine they couldn't afford the actors after filming started and they just walked off set), plot lines are set up then are not resolved and it literally ends with "And then someone just does something and makes everything OK- THE END!". Halfway through the film the characters have dream sequences, one of which shows the protagonists shooting up through a tunnel in a large stone bowl, reminiscent of the ending of the Disney film of the same name, another shows one of the heroes rescuing the others and a character that is yet to be introduced played by Emo Philips (who's name receives top billing) from large, shambling monsters. Later in the film Emo Philips does indeed turn up, albeit in a different costume and wig to that he had in the dream and you go "Aha! The characters were somehow predicting their own future!" but that isn't the case! Philips character is just another "wacky" minion who doesn't effect the story whatsoever!If films were cars you'd have some that were finely crafted Rolls Royces, some that were sturdy, reliable functional trucks and others that may be cheap and badly made or old and rusted and falling apart. Journey To The Center of the Earth isn't even one of these, it's just some assorted junk that someone has assembled in the shape of a car. Seriously, this film should never had been released.

This movie should win or be in the category the worst film ever made. I cannot say anything good about it at all. The acting, writing, direction, scenery, and everything else is just so poor. However, I would actually recommend that you see this film just to believe that it was made. The first half of the film is about the journey to the center of the world. Then people go missing, some without any reason. Then the second half is about the lost city of Atlantis which I believe is the 2nd half of another film which they obviously thought would work together. It didn't. If you like B movies then it might be funny to you. But, to anyone else, it really sucks. Gave it 1 out of 10 because there is no option of 0 out of 10.

The funny sound that you may hear when you eyeball this execrable version of Jules Verne's classic "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is Verne spinning in his grave. The only thing about this 80 minute opus that has anything to do with "Journey to the Center of the Earth" is the title. Otherwise, everything else in this lackluster production is new and not worth watching. In fact, the director has written here at IMDb.COM that he directed only eight minutes of "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and the studio tacked on part of "Dollman" helmer Albert Pyun's sequel to his own "Alien from L.A." with Kathy Ireland. Evidently, the producers ran out of money and to satisfy overseas contractual obligations, they grafted Pyun's sequel onto director Rusty Lemorande's movie. Please, don't rent or buy this wretched piece of garbage.Unlike director Henry Levin's period piece "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (1959) with James Mason and Pat Boone, Lemorande's "Journey to the Center of the Earth" takes place in contemporary times in Hawaii. Two fellows, a British nanny, and a dog are brought together for the adventure of a lifetime purely by coincidence. Richard (Paul Carafotes of "Blind Date") and his comic book obsessed brother Bryan (Ilan Mitchell-Smith of "Weird Science") are going out to explore a cave. The heroine, Crystina (Nicola Cowper of "Underworld"), works for a domestic service called 'Nannies R Us.' Being a nanny has been Crystina's life-long dream, but she has made a less of all five of her nanny jobs. Nevertheless, her sympathetic supervisor, Ms. Ferry (Lynda Marshall of "Africa Express"), sends her to Hawaii. Crystina's new client, rock star Billy Foul (Jeremy Crutchley of "Doomsday") who is scheduling one last concert to revive his flagging career, has a dog named Bernard. Foul wants Crystina to take Bernard to a doggie day spa. Crystina is waiting on the arrival of her taxi when a careless motel attendant accidentally puts the basket that conceals Bernard in Richard's jeep. You see, Foul has hidden his canine in a basket because motel management strictly prohibits pets on their premises. Foul has disguised the dog as a human baby. Anyway, Crystina catches a cab and tells the driver follow Richard.After she catches up with them to get her dog, the cabbie cruises away and abandons her. Crystina demands that Richard drive her back to town, but he has other plans. Unhappily, Crystina joins the guys and they get lost, and then find themselves in the lost city of Atlantis, a police state ruled by a dictator, at the center of the Earth. The rulers of Atlantis repeatedly notify their citizens that life on the surface does not exist. Our heroes and heroine stumble onto Atlantis quite by accident. Atlantis resembles a disco and everybody looks like they are straight out of a punk rock opera. The ruler of Atlantis, General Rykov (Janet Du Plessis of "Operation Hit Squad"), is orchestrating a raid on the surface with clones of the first human, Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland of "Necessary Roughness"), to visit Atlantis. Predictably, General Rykov machinations to rule Atlantis and overthrow the Earth fails, and our heroes and heroine save the day."Journey to the Center of the Earth" is an abomination. The movie seems to be a comedy despite its superficial satire about dictatorships. Albert Pyun is one of my favorite low budget action directors, but he blew it on this lightweight shambles of a science fiction saga.